I admit it. I’m gender biased. Always have been.
I’m female. I get it. But I’m not ‘girly female’. I’m just me. Don’t know dresses and make up. Don’t know why girls go to bathrooms in groups (that just repulses me). I don’t want to talk about bodies and body parts and biological function. I don’t know what “girl time” means. And I don’t separate my friendships by calling them “girlfriends”. My ‘friends’ are friends, gender not withstanding.
I am opposed to being stuck conforming to ‘girl’ behavior. I don’t know what that means. And I can’t do it.
I am woman. No doubt. And my life long motto has been “don’t call me a girl”. I’m not opposed to being a girl. I’m opposed to having to act like a girl or being expected to act in a certain way.
I don’t tell you all of this as a rant or a proclamation. It’s just a preface to the story of my gender bias breaking weekend.
This is my friend.
She’s a girl.
And she’s making me spend the weekend with her.
Maybe “making” isn’t exactly accurate. But it’s what I’m going with.
She made me hike ten miles. In ice, snow and mud. So far….so good. Tons of bonus points.
Then she makes me go to an Irish play. She got more bonus points for that. Then extra bonus points because it was exceptionally good.
She DID indeed make me share a hotel room with her. For which I despise her. And yet we’ve not killed one another yet. The last time I shared a room with a girl it was my sister. And I had strict ‘do not cross this line’ rules in our room. I wasn’t mean. Just very private. Yes, at the age of seven.
And then I ended up saving her life because of that first hotel room. She owes me thanks, but I’ve already regaled you with that tale.
Then she makes me walk through markets and over bridges and in to old buildings. We walked. We ate. We walked. I had to give her some points for that. Six miles or more of walking today. Points for the distance traveled by foot.
She chose to sorely test me. It nearly ended our 35 year friendship. For lunch she refused to go in to an Irish pub. Why? Because she said Irish food isn’t any good. I told her I hated her. And for that she lost all bonus points earned up to that point. I turned around and walked away from her. I told her I couldn’t be with her any more. We were in the midst of a crowd of about five. She told me never to say anything like that in public again. If she was to get a date with a guy they can’t be hearing me make comments like that. The men folk might take that wrong. And not understand that her dissing the Irish would not be the issue at hand. Or what they heard.
She then became acutely aware of every time she called me honey. And that’s a direct quote from her. I think she really wants a date.
To which I told her I didn’t appreciate her emotionally trashing me.
Tonight we are walking around Little Italy. Restaurant hopping to try as many different places as we can. Okay. A few points there. (Update: we went to Anthony’s in Little Italy, they split a plate of spaghetti and meatballs for us. We walked out waddling and I couldn’t eat anything at the other ten restaurants we walked to and just gazed in the windows. I couldn’t even make myself buy anything at the two bakeries we walked in to. Fail. Point loss.)
There’s a chance she may have broken my gender bias.
But she’s on thin ice right now.