Monthly Archives: September 2009

What Toots is making me think about.

Aunt Toots died on her birthday last week. Mom said that it was kind of fitting that God gave her to “us” on 9/11 and she went back to Him on 9/11. She left behind, or went ahead of, 10 beautiful human beings we know as her children, her husband  and her grandkids galore. She left behind 10 other siblings. I learned yesterday her great grandchild calls her Great Nini, and she has powers. Her daughter wanted her to use her powers to stay, but Toots opted not to. I’ve always, obviously, known Toots as an adult, a mom and grandma, a wife, and a sister. I think of the kids losing their mom and my heart aches with the loneliness and devastation you feel at losing a parent. I think of Jim losing his wife of over 50 years and I think of all of the living that happened in that home. Others tell me of the Toots and Jim who would fill their car and take a slew of kids (before they had their own full slew) to games and give everyone a grand time. Then I think of Toots the sister. I think of her as the child. I think of the brothers and sisters as kids. Part of me believes that that existence is always out there, the child of us remaining the child, playing, pouting, getting in to trouble. How do the siblings, the children they were, lose Toots the sister? Some times we get older and so many people lose the sense of the child they were. People just grow up. This is good. And this is sad. Because when I look at anyone, my own siblings, my mom, my aunts and uncles, myself in the mirror, the 90+ year old person I am investigating to see if someone is abusing them I have this vision of them as the child. We didn’t start out right here where we are. I see this child. And I weep internally for the loss of that child.

I believe in the Glory of where Toots is. I believe in the Life she is entered in to and celebrates right now.

I see the 74 year old Grandma, Great Nini, Wife, Mom, Sister, leaving behind a wealth of a grand life here.

But I see this child. This child Toots. Maybe that is fitting. Because she has returned as a child.

Just some thoughts about Toots.

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