I like the idea, and the possibilities, of change.
I do not like the reality of change.
I like that I can do things differently. But I don’t like if I have to change.
I get excited when I dream about things that could be. I get bummed when I think of things I must do differently.
I’m contemplating so many changes. So many things I would like to do. So many things I could stop doing. But then it hits me I would actually have to change. I like routine. I like sameness. I like familiar.
And yet, I want to be adventurous. I don’t want to be bound by the routine and the sameness of my every day. Surely I find comfort in the sameness. And safety. Do I risk the safety to find something else? Something I don’t even know I am looking for? But I have a desire to look none the less.
There’s nothing wrong with comfort. I know I enjoy the comforts of my life. I am blessed to have what I have and don’t want to risk it or throw it away. That’s not what I question. I guess what I question is my courage.
But sometimes I guess it takes courage to stay in the sameness. Not make a change.
I guess I recognize there will be change. Just a matter of when.