Would you let this child move out on her own? Does she look like she should be living on her own?
I get a call today. From this child. She tells me “mom I have my own apartment. And oh today is Tuesday I’ll probably move out Thursday.” I paraphrased that a little bit but it’s the jist of the conversation.
Since my children’s birth I have looked forward to them growing up. Becoming adults. Being independent. Doing wonderful things. Having great and fulfilling lives. I really do. But the point is they have to be grown up. Does the child in this picture look grown up?
No, she does not.
And this is exactly how I see her. Still.
I don’t really have a say in the matter. Apparently she thinks she can make her own decisions. Well, I can still say what I want to say. Whether it has any impact or not.
Child of mine I love you. You look in the mirror and see a young adult looking back at you. You feel a need to be free of the world of childhood and out of the grasps of parental control (I call it guidance). Child of mine I can not protect you from everything any more. But the things I gave you to protect yourself are tools that you need to trust and rely on. Always. The things that you think are silly are things you need to do to protect yourself. Don’t answer your door if you don’t know the person. Don’t invite strangers in to your home. If something looks too good to be true than it is fake and possibly dangerous. If your stomach turns in to a knot, trust it and get out of harm’s way. Do the best you can at whatever job you have, someone is paying for your time, and you agreed to do a job. Do it. If you don’t like it, work it well until you find a better/different job. Pay the bills first. Save something from every check. Fun does not have to cost money. Friends do not ask you to do something you know is wrong. If anyone loves you they will not use that love to manipulate you, to take from you, or to get you to do something you know is wrong. Chew with your mouth shut. Speaking of keeping your mouth shut, if you don’t know what to say, say nothing. You can always get back to someone later. Whatever it is you want in life make a plan, and follow it. There are extremely few people who will give you something in life without expecting something in return. I am one of them, I’ll let you know when there is someone else. I might let you have a say in that. Put God in your life. Ask in your prayers for help and guidance and love, not for things. And say thank you when a prayer is answered, even if it isn’t the answer you wanted. I know better than you. God knows better than me. We make a great team.
You have chosen to grow up on me. I’m not sure where you got the courage to do that. Nor do I remember giving you permission to do so. Maybe you think I don’t have that right.
But look at the picture above. See that little girl. That’s my girl. That’s my child.
I’ll always see that child’s face in your adult face. Always.
So go ahead. Grow up if you must. Move out. Move on.
Use your head. My heart is counting on it.
I love you.