We’ve checked out a few houses in a couple of different locations. Close to the bike trail. Some are small, some are old, some are expensive. Then we come home and none of them are home. I know any of them could be. And I know me well enough to know that once the final decision has been made and we pick a house to move to, I will shut down. I will close out my time here and be done with it. I’m not usually a ‘goer backer’. Maybe in my mind with fond memories. But once I move forward I tend to stay in that momentum.
It’s not being in that momentum that is the kicker. Meanwhile I come home. Because this is home. It’s where my ancestors lived and died. And it is where my children grew. It’s where Nessie sprinkled reindeer food at Christmas. It’s where Brittany picked the bees out of Nessie’s hair and saved her life! It’s where Nessie got sick and threw up so hard it bounced off the wall and shot under the bed. It’s where Brittany lamented her high school angst and we supported her in her angst until she laughed. It’s where Ben put Nessie in a figure 4 leg lock and made her cry. It’s where Nessie and I stayed in the basement during a tornado warning and all of the other idiots ran outside when we got a phone call saying it was heading our way. Cookouts. Christmas. Birthday. We watched 911 unfold in our living room and when Nessie fell asleep in total shut down I feared for the world we have made. It’s where hope was shot back in to our lives with the Queen’s birth. Her very life giving us joy and happiness.
So right now home is here with all of these things. Memories.
When we find where we are suppose to go, I will take the memories with me.