I have so many things I want to do in life. Most of the things I want to accomplish are, sadly, physical achievements. I am well aware there are more honorable goals to have. And I do have them. But the things that I think about, dream about and aspire to consist of conquering one physical feat or another. Unfortunately something (fate) usually hampers my attempts. Fate throws deer, dogs, birds, broken ankles and surgery induced recoveries in my path.
Maybe part of my own fate is to take these as they come and continue on my path. I’d like to think so.
So once again I have decided to try and run. I started biking initially because the doctor who scoped my knee said I couldn’t run. Come to think of it he also told me I couldn’t do my TKD, or ride bikes. But running is something I have always wanted to do. I want to be a runner. I want to pull on a well worn pair of good running shoes, wear shorts, and tshirt and go. No need to pack anything. No need to prepare anything. Just go. I love that about runners. I’m not over simplifying. I know there is a lot that dedicated runners do to be able to run and run well. But I am also well aware of the freedom you achieve when you walk out, start to run, and just go. I like that. I want that.
Problem is, every time I start to run, I start to run too much. And my knee(s) just can’t take it. I end up having to stop because something I want to do, and get better at, is something I can’t seem to control.
SO this time. This time. I will run. But only two or three times a week. And just to run and help my biking, my TKDing, my breathing. All of the good things running is suppose to do for you. And the goal? To not try to run faster than yesterday and twice as much as last week. Just run. A couple, a few times a week.
I can do that. Right? Sure. That is really the challenge. I can “run”. Grant it with all of my injuries and permanent physical issues I don’t run well. I’ll never be a professional. But I can run for the sake of running. With the additional challenge of making it last this time. Making myself STOP running. Run only those few times a week.
I mentally accept this challenge.
Then my friend Ben texts me and says (direct quote from my texting that I went to just for this purpose):
“U wanna train for a marathon?”
OF COURSE I DO!
Why did he pick today to text me that? Is that my fate stepping up and saying “you ARE suppose to be a runner”. “You ARE suppose to be a marathoner”.
Yes, the adrenaline pump kicked it up a notch as I read that.
But I had JUST decided to be responsible. Not freak out and go ballistic and out of control. I had just convinced myself that this time, THIS TIME, I would do it right.
I responded a few times. I surprised myself by asking if we couldn’t train for a 5K first. He responded by calling me a chicken. I responded by telling him we have to be able to do a 5K if we ever think we can do a marathon. I was proud of myself for not looking up and signing up for the next and nearest marathon.
Though now that I think about it…..
I want this.
I will keep my promise to myself. Not freak out and go over board.
But I can think about it. And dream about it. And want it.
So I ran.
Two miles today.