Dear…. Me?

Dear God,

I don’t know how to express my sincerity to You but I understand that You know me better than I know myself.   So you likely know how sincere I am.

Quite simply:   could you give us a hand down here?

We could really use it.

Today I talked to someone who has to suffer the loss of a father figure in her life.   Oh, sorry, no, he’s not dead.    But he is lost to them.   He is lost to himself.   He has Alzheimer’s and it has stolen the man they know and left a man they don’t know how to help.   How heartbreaking for those who love him to see his image but not be able to take comfort from the face that is a mask of something that scares them and steals away the world they knew.

Today I talked to someone who’s mom is living a life of sadness and despair.   All she wants is peace and comfort.   But her days and nights are filled with the unease of not knowing when a man who should protect her will become the monster that lurks within the darkest depths of his own twisted fears and perceptions.

The other day I spoke with my daughter and didn’t know how to comfort her when she told me of the encounter she had with a lonely and alone little boy.   His mom was dying.   And no one was helping him grieve or loving him through it.

A few days ago I read, and continue to read about, the death of a sheriff deputy as she responded to a call.   She was a wife.  A mom.  A friend.   She chose a profession of helping others only to lose her life in the very act of responding to a call for help.

For the last two days I have been reading in a local newspaper the increase in the numbers of people who need assistance to provide food for their families.  As if that isn’t worrisome enough, the technology of today provided for community members the opportunity to degrade and debase people who need help.   Community.   I think we have lost community.

I don’t want You to think I have lost hope.  On the contrary, I have not.   I see a greater deal of good than I do bad and evil.   I just wish the world would start reporting that kind of news.   We just celebrated another season of Christmas.   Of course all kinds of good and miraculous behaviors and actions are reported around Christmas.   But it would sure be nice if it was reported to the world in the quantities that it occurs.

I don’t know what I expect by writing this.   I know You hear me every day with every expression of thanks I give, or sigh of resignation I breath.   I just feel better writing some of this stuff down.  I guess I want You to know, or maybe I want to make sure I know, that I recognize the suffering here.   Maybe by putting it out here I can reread this (like I just did) and instead of expecting more from You I can expect more from myself.

Maybe that was the point here?  Well, aren’t You a wily one!   You knew I was going to write this, You knew I would start out with all of these things I see and You knew I didn’t really know where I was going with this.  But You did, didn’t You?

I get it.   I have my part.

Well, as usual, thanks for helping me get to where I need to be in this world.

I’m glad I at least always know You’re part.

So, well, I’ll be talking to You soon!

Love,

Colleen