Lack Of Musical Ability.

After talking with my esteemed Genius Friend I have come to a conclusion about my lack of musical talent.   First I want to clarify that Genius Friend is, indeed, a genius.  Bonafide.  Genius.  That’s pretty sweet.   I have to admit that I have admired the functionability of her brain.   None of this pertains to my little story.   Other than she was the one I was talking to when I decided that there is indeed a reason that my musical ability is nonexistent.

Okay it is not nonexistent so I have already messed up this story.   It is there.  It is here.  In me.  Latent.  Buried.  Undiscovered.   Unused.   I’ve tried and tried to get to it but have failed miserably.

As an adult I have purchased harmonicas to try and teach myself how to play.  I have purchased tin whistles, a bodhran.   I have watched Youtube videos.  I have purchased how-to CD’s and DVD’s.   All in an attempt to prove that I do not suck musically.  Or I don’t musically suck.  Whichever of those statements is grammatically correct.

Only to find out that the attempts have proved futile.  Fruitless.  Pointless.  I have only proven that I do, indeed, suck musically.   Or, musically suck.

But  I have determined the cause of this problem.  It’s not that the ability is not there. It is that it was never discovered, nurtured and tutored at the appropriate time.   That’s right.   Because my preschool, kindergarten and grade school educations did not find it and put it to good use.   (Disclaimer:   all attempts to teach any student the recorder do not count as musical nurturing.)   I am not placing blame or responsibility.   There are a lot of little people in these classes every single day.  I suppose not every single one of them need to be turned in to musical prodigies.

I just happen to lament the inability to play musical instruments.

I am blessed with an appreciation of those who have this gift, this ability.  I recognize that.

But between me and you?   I’m a little jealous.   There, I said it.    But I’m only jealous because of the heavy lamenting.

And my genius friend?   She suggested maybe I could find this musical instrument in my vocals.

I assured her that, no, I can not.   I am, after all, a realist.

And what started me a fresh on this LOMA lament this fine evening?  I loved me some jazz music tonight.  Serious thanks and appreciation to my nephew’s incredible and stunning musical ability. My very first live performance of jazz music.  Courtesy of him.  Yeah…I’m still jealous.   But thank God I know to appreciate those who don’t have LOMA.  He definitely does not have LOMA.