Solitude Lake

I love my husband, siblings, children, grandchildren, parents, extended family, friends, co-workers,  employees of Tim Horton’s who make my iced coffee, and neighbors.  I love people.  Okay, so when I write this it is not in reference to any of you.

It’s just about a quiet and solitary moment.

Through no one’s fault a moment I did not expect to happen today, happened.   Husband and I went kayaking.   We had gone on a wonderful bike ride and I didn’t want the sunshine and exertion buzz to be over for the weekend.   So after an hour or two of deliberating on whether to go kayaking or not I stuck my head out the door and said “let’s go!”   I knew if I said it out loud I would do it.   It’s Sunday.  It’s summer.  It’s beautiful.   Let’s use what we have today and make the best of it.

Husband went to the garage to start emptying the vehicle of stuff so we could load it with kayak stuff.   Here’s how I remember it…..  I went out to the garage with drinks and bagels for the two of us.   I had to pull the car out of the garage so Husband could get the kayaks out of the rafters.   Garage door goes down, Husband hands me down the kayaks.  Garage door goes up.   I load the kayaks while husband goes back in the house.  I then get the paddles and load them in the back of the opened vehicle.   But husband has life jackets and kayak padding all tied together.   And attached to the paddles.  I had to get all of that off of the paddles to be able to get it in the vehicle.   I put everything in the vehicle.

We make our merry way to the lake.   Oooooooooh!  There are ripples on the lake.  More fun for kayaking for me!  Bumps in the water.   Perfect.   I put on my life jacket.  Throw my kayak bag in my kayak.   Grab my Diet Coke.   Grab my paddle.    I hoist my kayak on to my very buff and capable shoulder, and mosey on down to the dock.  I get kayak in the water.  I get me in the kayak.   Husband usually takes a lot more time.   A lot.  I look, he’s still back at the car.   I wait.   He yells.  I look again.  He says “do you have my paddle”.    No, I do not.  I yell back “it’s in the car”.

He goes to car.  I sit and wait.   “Hey”.   I turn to look.   No, it’s not in the car.   He is going to drive home and get it.   Like a very good wife I say “do you want me to get out and go with you?”

All spouses know this ruse.  Of course I had no intention of getting out.   I would have had he said yes, go with me.   But really, what was the point?  Besides he’s a teacher and has the whole summer off.   This is my Sunday and I go back to work tomorrow,  please don’t make me get out of here and drive back.  I’m ready to paddle.

Of course he says no.  He’ll be back.  It will take about forty minutes.

And bam just like that I have solitude.

For those of you who do not understand I’m not even going to try and explain.

I paddle out in to the lake.  Slowly.   I didn’t want to go so far he couldn’t see me when he returned.  We had already planned to paddle to the one end of the lake that I did not think we had paddled to previously.   I paddle.  I stop.  I paddle.  I stop.

There are others on the lake but they sort of just disappeared.

I look forward to the far far far away end of the lake.  I’m sitting on a lake.  I do have a phone in my kayak bag but in a very odd turn of events it does not work.  I could not yell for anyone.  I could not call anyone.  I could not look over my shoulder to Husband to make a comment or hear one from him.

I

Was

Alone.

I pulled my legs out of the kayak.  A little sun on the fake tanned legs.   I let the water carry me for a short time.

I floated.  The kayak turned in the water and faced back the way I had paddled from.

It was quiet.  I could not have talked to another human being if I had wanted to.  Do you ever totally have that feeling?  Total solitude.  Isolation even.   In a beautiful, quiet, non threatening setting.   No fears.   No worries.   No noise but air and water.

It was brief.  It was enjoyable and refreshing.   I wouldn’t want it all the time.   But once in a while when life opens up all of these perfect little collaborations and you are open to the gift of it.   Love it.

I loved me some solitude today.