Body Broken? Pffffft.

Could I…. I mean, really?

Run a..a…a…a… half marathon?   Or a…a…a….marathon???

After reading Matt Long’s A Long Run I did for the first real time think well hell!  I could run a half marathon.  After everything that happened to him for crying out loud he did the Iron Man.   He is an Iron Man.

I always thought this x-ray of my true and honest injuries was extensive:

It is something I am sure Matt Long wished was all that was wrong with him.  Well, except for the female related surgeries.   But the rest, if that’s all that happened to him, if that was all that was wrong he’d of scaled Mt. Everest by now, swam (swum?) to Hawaii to then participate in the Iron Man.  And I’m pretty sure he would have then swam (swum?) back home.

But, this is me.  It’s what I am and what I have to deal with.   I thought I was doing pretty good with all that I’ve tried to do.  I had believed that considering all of the things that hurt I was pretty brave to try the things I try.   I thought I was pretty tough getting up every morning and riding and doing my push-ups and pushing myself through learning more martial arts.  I thought I was kinda brave!  Pffffffft.   It wasn’t until reading Matt’s story that I realize I have it pretty darn good.   Yes, I truly do.   I’ve told others it hurts if I’m not doing anything, I might as well do what I want.   But I’ve been holding back.   And making excuses…. And I can do more!

Yes I Can!

I have been running.   Not a lot.  I’m not training per se.  I’m just running.  I have to admit I was thrilled beyond any expectations that I ran a full four miles last Sunday.  Me.  That’s right.  Four.  Not one.  Not two.  Not three.  Four miles.   As far as running goes I am well aware that that is not by far an enormous number.   But as far as runners go I know any real runner knows that before you get to 26. 2 or ultra 50, 100 and 150 mile runs you have to run that first mile.   And a whole bunch of subsequent single miles after that.

So just this very recent past I have let the idea play in my head….I  could run.   Farther, I mean, than I have.  Right?

If I started with one, and have moved up to four, couldn’t I add another one?    I like what it’s doing for my legs, and my biking.   I’m running to be running.   And because I’m running I’m no longer dreaming about running.   The dreams weren’t bad, they made me sad, because I wasn’t running.    Now I am.   So apparently I don’t have to dream about it.  If running 4 miles makes me stop dreaming about it because I am doing it what will running 5 miles do?  Probably make me want to run 6.   I see a trend starting here.

I’m not racing.   I know better than that.  I’m challenging.  Me.  I don’t know what I want to do with this thing called running.   I just want to be able to do it.  And I am.   I gave myself permission to try it again.   I am allowing myself to not be all freakishly controlling about it.  I’m allowing myself to enjoy it.

I haven’t decided that I will, should, or even can run a half marathon.  But I have decided it’s okay to think about it.  Contemplate it.  Let myself have that option.  I like that I can if I want.  Or not.

And then, today?

Someone at work told me I should join their running team.

Hows that for encouragement?   And possibilities!

I could.  If I want to.   I really could.