I’m Not Gay And I Don’t Hate You

This is just a little blog that just a few people read on a regular basis.  I know I won’t reach hundreds with my thoughts.   And they are just thoughts, and opinions.  I will be lucky if I have tens of people read this and relate in some way.   Though I’m just one, I’m one like many.   I get up every day and do the best job I can at living and being a good person.   I don’t know how to fix the world, but I know how to not be a problem to it.   It’s really pretty simple.

I don’t hate.

I try not to inflict problems in to this world and in to other people’s lives.   It just doesn’t seem like the right thing to do.

Today was another shake me up kind of day.   I am sometimes so naive it surprises me.   I don’t get other people’s hate.   It shocks me.

Every time I see it.

I check out a lot of news sites through out my day.   Though I like to keep informed I’ll be honest enough to say I don’t fully understand all of the items of living that news agencies deem necessary to report.   Politics bewilder me.   Finance and budget problems astound me.   Hate overwhelms me.   I was stunned today when once again I went from news page to news page and found that yet another child had killed himself.  Because he was bullied.  I didn’t read the story at first.  I saw his picture.  I saw his picture many times before I read his story this evening.   Here’s what I saw when I looked at his picture:

I looked at the pictures.   I couldn’t see by looking at this face what there was about him that would threaten someone(s) enough to bully him.   Hate on him.  Drive him to suicide.

When I finally got to read the story I was surprised to read he was gay, or questioning his sexuality.   Yeah, I was surprised.   What is it about  a 14 year old boy questioning his sexuality that  makes it  reason enough to bully him, call him names, and make him feel like he does not belong?

It’s a simple enough question.

I’d like an honest answer.

I’m not gay.   I do not have a clue what this child went through.   I don’t understand what he went through.  Not because I’m not gay, but because I’m not him.  I didn’t know him.   But I can’t fathom a reason why this child’s sexuality, or more likely, his developing sexuality, was a threat to anyone.   Anywhere.

I kind of get the concept of bullies.   Bullies, by nature, bully out of their own fear.   I’m no expert.   It’s just my opinion.   But bullies do not try to learn or come to an understanding.   Bullies don’t seem to have that brain cell that tells them “you don’t have to understand or even like it, but it’s not hurting you, so it’s okay to be different”.    Along with the absence of that brain cell-they have lost, or never got, the “acceptance” brain cell.   Along with a few other brain cells.

I just don’t see why this child was hated by anyone because he was gay.  Or might be gay.  Or wondered if he was gay.   How is that a threat to anyone?

In the past month I have been a bit fascinated by the Chaz Bono story.   Why?  I’m glad you asked.   Because I don’t get it.  I have watched Chaz give some pretty open and honest interviews.  I’ve read some things Chaz has written.  I have read and listened to people support Chaz, and people be so hateful towards Chaz that it scares me.  The biggest surprise to me while watching and reading all of the information out there?   Why are people so scared and hateful of Chaz?   Chaz comes across in these interviews as thoughtful, kind, considerate and just down right nice.   What in the world is there to be scared of?

I am pretty sure a lot of people go back to the bible to support their fear.   I’ve read a lot of criticism saying “it’s not right”, “it’s not what God intended”, etc….   I don’t know the bible well enough to throw quotes at you.   But I get one basic concept, maybe two.   First, it’s God’s job to judge.   Second, love is God’s foundation.   Not hate.   And even if God has an issue with anything I don’t remember Him appointing a single one of us as the hate monger.   Like I said, I’m not a bible scholar but I’m pretty sure He does not call us to take up arms as hate mongers and torment our children and those of us who we perceive as different.

There is not one of us exactly like another.   Not one.   Our thoughts differ.  Our feelings differ.  Our perceptions differ.

People hate.   And hate is a choice.  Yeah….that one’s a choice.   It doesn’t matter what you believe or agree with.   What you don’t believe or don’t agree with.    What’s the point of all of the hate?   What, exactly, is the point?

I’m not gay and I don’t hate you if you are gay.   I don’t hate you if you’re straight.   I don’t hate you if you question your sexuality or don’t care to have any sexuality.   I don’t know even a fraction of you walking this planet.   But I can promise you this, you and I?   We are very different.

Please don’t hate me because I am different than you.

To Jamey’s family, my sympathy’s for your loss.   God bless Jamey and all who loved him.