The Law Of Sibling Existance

I saw the title to a “news” story today that questioned ‘why siblings fight’.

I didn’t bother to read it.   I know why siblings fight.  I am a sibling, which of course, means I have a sibling.   Seven siblings actually.

Let me tell you why siblings fight.

Because we exist.

If you want more specifics let me elaborate:

Because we exist unfairly.

The boys get to do whatever they want.

The girls have to do the housework.

And watch the younger siblings.  Oh wait.  The oldest girl has to watch the younger siblings.

Because he looked at the other one funny.  Then that one laughed at the one who got mad because the first one looked at him funny.

She took an extra can of pop that I was going to take.

He left a mess and I got in trouble for it.

She called me a name and I wasn’t quick witted enough to come up with a better name so I had to hit her.

He called me a dumbass because I wasn’t quick witted enough to come up with a name.

He dropped the “f-bomb” and mom was all like “oh you shouldn’t talk like that” but when I said “crap” I got in trouble.

Because it was Tuesday.

All of the HIMS had shoes that smelled of rotted hell and they needed filled with shaving cream.

Because none of the “he’s” ever  had to rinse out used cloth diapers in preparation to be washed.

Because he was mom’s favorite.

Because she was dad’s favorite.

He didn’t ever take out the trash.

She didn’t ever scrub the floor.

Because he nicknamed me Pinky Stinky.

Because she got away with everything.

Because there was eight of us in one house with only 2 parents.

Because he pushed her down the stairs.

He hit her and he didn’t think it was fair so he hit him.

She called him a “pig”.

So he had to throw a brick at her.

Because he thought he was the boss of me.  And he wasn’t.

Because it wasn’t Tuesday.

He smelled funny.

He was born first.

She was born last.

I got stuck in the middle.

Because we were bored.

“Because he”  and “because she”.     Those were reason enough.

And just to be perfectly clear about this, there does not need to be any reason at all for siblings to fight.   But the great thing about fighting with siblings…. you could fight all out and never be the worse for wear.  Scratches and bruises heal.  We could fight safely with one another.    Because we didn’t hate one another.

And we didn’t want to hurt one another.

Then we grew up.

Now we don’t fight.

Because I can kick all their asses.