Daily Archives: November 12, 2011

Who Matters Most

An Open Letter To The Victims-

You.  You are who matters.

I don’t want to say much about him.  He no longer matters.  He will never be more than what he has done.  He has committed crimes that cannot be fixed with restitution or a change of heart.   What he has done cannot be repaid to society.   The world is watching and wanting, for your sake, for him to have to face the world and stand guilty as what he is:  evil.

What he has done to you he cannot ever answer to.

But what he has done is about him.

What he has done defines him.

What he has done, does not define you.

You are not what he did to you.   Do not give him one more minute of your life.  Claim your life as your own.  Use your minutes, your hours, your days and your life doing exactly what you have always wanted to do.   Or, how about this, do more than you ever thought you could.

There is no shame on you.  No blame on you.  No anger on you.

You are innocent.   You do not need to carry the burden of his shame and guilt.

I would suspect that for some of you there is fear of how others will look at you.   How we will picture you.   I promise you that there are some of us who see you as strong.  Brave.  Tough.  We see ourselves when we look at you.  And we look with our heads held high.  Because you are always better than what someone else did to you.   Always.

 I suspect some of you may be angry, and rightfully so!   I suspect you don’t trust, not easily, and not many.  I get that.   But you will learn trust.  You will know trust.  If nothing else, you can trust yourself.  That’s what matters most.  Don’t discount the idea that you can trust again.  You can.  Start with you.

There’s no shame on you.  None.  Don’t think for one minute that the tricks he used to bribe you, lead you or use you are your fault.  You were a child.  And he used the mastered skills of an adult perpetrator to trick you.   He set you up.  That is and always will be his shame.

You are not damaged.  You are not broken.  You are wholly as good as you choose to be.

What and who you choose to be are totally your decisions to make.  Do not, please, do not for one more moment of your life give any of your life to him.

There is a world of support for you.  Do you hear the screams of the world?  I know you feel let down.  With all of the stories coming out I can’t imagine how you must feel.   Let down.  Stunned.  Angry.  Because it appears that others could have stepped in before.  You must be wondering, where were all of you who are  screaming now-then?   When you needed us.  When you needed to be protected.

There is absolutely no good in what happened to you.  Nothing.

But I still have hope.  I hope that a child that this is happening to now sees this and speaks up.  Sees this and knows that there are people who care.   And knows that there are people who will stop it.  I hope people are addressing their children; asking them questions; and telling them no one is allowed to touch them.  No one.   I hope people are watching their children.  I hope teachers and coaches and administrators are putting together better plans on protecting the children in their care.   I hope the world retains the disgust and anger that it is rightfully feeling and uses it to be more diligent about protecting our children.   And locking up the monsters.

And I hope, for all of you, support.

I hope the world embraces you and begs your forgiveness.

And I hope for you the successes in life that are yours for the taking.

I hope for peace in your dreams.

I hope for strength in your will.

I hope for you all of the powers and skills and love you need to empower you.   Empower you to define who you are and what you want to be.

You are not what he did to you.

You are what you decide to be.

You define You.

And…I’m sorry this happened to you.

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