Woe Is The Dinner List

When my children were growing up we had dinner, as a family, at the dinner table every single night of their growing up years.   I demanded it.  I hope they expected it.   There was no exception.   The dinner fare varied.   But the important part of dinner was the eating together as a family part.   I may have cooked a lovely dinner with all food groups represented.   Or I might have picked up pizza on the way home from work.  Or I might have made tomato soup with peanut butter sandwiches.

But the kids got old.   They had jobs.   Sports.  Horseback riding.

Then it was just me and husband.

A different husband.

Now, it’s just me and Husband.

When it’s just us after work there are no dinner worries.  He has what he wants.  And I have what I want.  Don’t be thinking I’m a slacker wife.  I am not.  I have the great (mis)fortune to have a husband who does not need fancy cooked meals.  Tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches?  No, he will not eat it.  Meals with all food groups represented?  No, he will not eat it.   Pizza?  Yes, he will eat it.  Well, plain cheese pizza or pepperoni pizza.   Absolutely no other pizza toppings required.  Or accepted.   Or tried.

Husband is a no frills, no texture, no spice, no flavor eater.

Stir fry?   No.

Spaghetti?  No.

Meatloaf?  No.

Fish?  No.

Pork chops?  No.

Steak?  No.

Liver?  No.  Me either.

Stew?  No.

Any soup?  No.

Onion rings?  No.

Corn dogs?  No.

Gravy on anything?  No.

Chili (not considered soup by many)?   No.

Casserole of any kind?  No.

Stuffed peppers?   No.

Vegetables?  No.

Sausage?   No.

Goulash?   No.

Pot pie?   No.

Roast beef?   No.

Lunch meat?  I know, not really dinner fare, but no.

BBQ anything?  No.

 Cabbage rolls?   No.

Trust me, the list goes on.  And on.

What, pray tell, do I tell people who want to invite us to dinner – will Husband eat?

Here is the list in its entirety:

The afore mentioned pizza varieties.

Hamburger.  Plain.  Sometimes cheese.  Sometimes not.

French fries.  Plain.  No dipping stuff (unless it’s ice cream-go figure).

Grilled cheese.

Salad.  Comprised of:   lettuce.   No, I am not kidding.

Macaroni and cheese.  Don’t get fancy and add anything.

Bacon and eggs.


Cereal.  Boxed.  Or oatmeal.

Fettuccini Alfredo (where did that come from).

Baked potato.

There you have it.  The entire, other than desserts he will eat, menu.

I am soooooooo not kidding.   Tonight my neighbors and I were visiting and they want us to get together for dinner for the holidays.  They asked me what he would eat.   Because they already know there will be problems….   They said to make a list.   So…I did.  In the event that anyone else wants to make us dinner.

For myself it will be easier to list what I won’t eat:  liver and lima beans.

Who would ever have thought I would miss tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches?