So. My third trip to the ER in less than 3 weeks.
I should get some kind of reward…frequent flier mile kind of benefits.
Tokens for the vending machines? Something.
The ER is not a fun place. Though last week’s trip did provide me with some odd entertainment. Mostly because I was in the waiting room and the people out there were not suffering. They were waiting . Well, there were some not feeling too good but they were not providing fodder for entertainment either.
But this evening I’m sitting by Husband’s bedside as he lies in the ER. He had chest pressure, shortness of breath…other stuff. You know, heart stuff.
There isn’t anything that prepares you for these kinds of feelings. One minute you’re sitting at your house, on the floor because the house is packed with holiday celebrating family, laughter, babies. You turn your head to look at Husband sitting 2 inches from you and he says very quietly “I don’t feel good”.
Fast forward to sitting in the ER.
Rushing about to make sure there is not active heart attack goings on. Apparently there isn’t.
But they still want to admit him. We just don’t know why.
And how am I suppose to refuse him when he says “do I at least get a blog out of this?”
Yes. Yes you do.
Because that minute that I turned my head, while sitting on the nicknamed cushion “the water” to see you, hear you tell me that, and in just those few words and even fewer seconds… everything you feel good about, confident about, is shaken.
My own heart is under attack.
In the time we’ve been here I don’t have any entertaining fodder. None. At. All.
The people back here are the reasons for the “ER”. One lady found on the floor, not responding. One lady not able to speak for herself and what’s going on. One man going to the Cardiac ICU. Family members crying.
Three times he has said “you don’t have to sit here, you can go home”. Three times I have stared him down. Leave? While you’re lying in the ER? Maybe its just reassurance he needs, to know I won’t leave.
He posed for a picture. I had to take a couple to make sure he looked the way he wanted. He’s such a ham.
A few hours ago he was home, working, playing, eating. He wanted to walk to the hospital ( we live very close). The nurse in the ER looked at him with a wife kind of look and said “it’s a good thing she (indicating me) was with you.”
Yes, it’s a very good thing I am.
The doctor asked if he did drugs, smoked, drank, etc…. Husband does not. And the doctor says “no fun at all huh?” And husband looks at me and says “her”.
That’s my Husband.
I appreciate the ER and all they are here for.
I’m glad they’re here to take care of us.
I just wish we didn’t need them.
I don’t have a fancy or brilliant way to sign off of this blog. I just am sitting here being thankful for everything he is for me, with me, to me. Thankful for everything I have with him.
So very thankful for him.
But so he knows? I didn’t need this to happen to know this. I have always known.