Why I Don’t Like Shopping

In ode to Black Friday I thought I would reflect on why I do not like shopping.   And more so, why I do not  like shopping today.

Germs.   They are everywhere.   And people don’t care that they have germs.  They cough, sneeze, spit (yes they do) right out there in public without practicing what they learned in kindergarten (if not before):   cover your mouth and nose!   They don’t do it.  Sputum and sneeze droppings fly every where.   And unbeknownst to you you turn up an aisle or turn a corner and you walk in to a wall of sneeze mist.

And talk about walking around corners or up/down  empty appearing aisles.  How about the spectacular moments you  walk in to the fetid and gag producing  fumes left behind by someone else.   Someone else who, let’s just say it, farted and ran so no one associated the stench to them.   But we all know who did it.

Diapers in the parking lot.  I get having small children and babies.  I even get that you may have to change their diapers in the car.   However, I do not see the reason for throwing them, laying them carefully, or covertly putting them under your car like no one is going to notice.   Classy.   There are trash cans everywhere.  Use them.   Why does someone else have to clean up after you?  What are you teaching that child anyway?

Cranky people I can usually deal with.  I just tell myself that I don’t know what’s going on in their lives.  Something sad, bad, terrible or difficult might be going on.   So, cranky I can handle.   Mean, on the other hand, I can not.    Already this morning I have read and/or been told about shopping hysterics:   one stupid lady PEPPER SPRAYED others in line who she thought were ditching her? That woman went prepared to do damage.   What is wrong with people.  Someone is robbing people in a parking lot.   Someone else was roughed up trying to reach for sale items (I suspect this is happening a lot).

Another issue I have with mean people?  Aside from their meanness in general is the down right nasty attitude many take with the store clerks and employees.  Yelling at these people who are ringing up hundreds of people in their very long shift is not necessary or helpful.   Ever.   The clerk didn’t price the stuff.  The clerk didn’t put the wrong price in the computer, and even if they did, it was an accident.   Give it a break, your temper tantrum is not necessary and very uncalled for.  Get over yourself.   (I’ve always loved that term and apply it to myself when I get a little grandiose in my own thinking.)

Crowds.   People standing jam packed.   Bodies pressed on bodies.  I’m not a touchy-huggy person by nature.   I don’t go up to strangers or acquaintances with any desire to feel any parts of their bodies.   Ever.   But in a crowd I lose my ability to control (you have all heard of OCD, right?) who is near me, touching me or pressed upon me.   And being exposed to  odors from said bodies pressed on my clean body does not entice me.   At all.   Strange, unknown, unpleasant odors that only get worse as the day goes by.  And these odors are in addition to the aforementioned farting smells.

Noise.  In a store with 539 children running wildly yelling “mom” makes my head spin.   How many mom’s can hear “mom” being yelled  and not snap their heads in that direction?  I know we have a natural tune-in to our own children.  But it still happens.   Not to mention the discussions you are very unwillingly over hearing.   Why do people talk about their bowel movements, sex lives and drug use out in public?   Why?

Not to mention the cussing.   Before any of you who know me roll your eyes, I know I cuss.  But I do not stand, walk or sit in public dropping “F bombs” every fourth word.   I don’t use obscene slang words for body parts, mine or someone else’s, to describe some nasty story that we don’t need to be talking about in public anyway (this was a little bit of a repeat but the cussing is the point of it, some people talk about inappropriate things without cussing.   Different issue, though related.   Don’t mean to cause confusion.)

I do appreciate that some people have today off and traditionally use it to do a bulk of shopping because it’s a day off.  Families getting together and making an event out of it.  Plans are laid to meet, follow the planned route of hitting which stores at which time for which bargain, and of course….breakfast.   For a hearty number of them I suspect lunch, dinner and drinks follow.  For those of you who have fun with this, and have made it a tradition of fun and family/friend time…carry on!   Be safe.  Do not fart in the aisles, sneeze in other’s faces, or talk  dirty talk sitting in the restaurant.

Not that any of you really care why I don’t like to shop.  I just don’t.  And I felt it an appropriate topic for this hallowed day of shopping.   For some of you.   To me it’s a day to make a list with Husband on what we need to order on line in time to get it before Christmas.