Daily Archives: December 22, 2011

Brutal and Wicked

There’s a condition that is being experienced by many people this time of year.  It’s seasonal.  It can be contagious depending on the environment you work in, and/or, socialize in.

It can be prevented but it’s pretty hard to avoid.  It’s cause is every where.

Most people can’t avoid it and once they get it tend to suffer for a couple of weeks.

It’s official name:

Junk Belly

Symptoms:

Uncontrollable gorging, bloated, tight pants, all loss of common eating sense, contradictory behaviors (considering the symptoms and suffering) that result in your stomach turning at the thought of sweets.   But the minute someone plops down a “specially made for you plate of homemade chewy goodness” on the community share table at work:  you grab and chew.

Causing even more distress at the same time you are moaning with taste bud pleasure.

It’s a terrible affliction.   You can not say “no” for many reasons.  Primarily because:

1.  You don’t want to hurt other’s feelings.

2.  You want to know what it tastes like.

3.  You will never in your life see a spread like this again (delusions are a part of this condition).

4.  You truly enjoy the extreme discomfort and pain that now resides below your jaw and above your thighs for the next 2 weeks.

You start to crave carrots, celery, radishes, cauliflower, hot soup with spices.  But if some thoughtful coworker, family member or friend thinks to bring a dish of healthy….you scoff.

Don’t deny it.  You scoff.

I saw you.

It’s time.  It’s happened.  Today I caught it.  Junk Belly.

I hope you can avoid it.  But it would take a Herculean effort to do so.  Good luck to you if you haven’t got it yet!

Be strong!

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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