I have certain plans in place in the event certain things ever happen in my life.
I thought I would share one.
I’m going to rent out a pretty big place for this one. A nice place. Not necessarily fancy. But big enough to hold everyone that it needs to hold.
I will have to rent it ahead of time. Plan the food. The drink , not for me, I don’t drink the drink but I know plenty who do. So I need to plan for that.
I’ll have to get that all set up and arranged before I take the next step.
I’ll hire a fancy calligrapher to hand write all of the envelopes with a single name on each invitation. And hand write each invitation.
The invitation will be very specific to time and location but not the occasion. Just that this person needs to be ready. Dress attire is completely optional. Casual always works for me. Always. But some people like to be fancy. So that’s okay. Get fancy. Just make sure to be ready at the appointed hour. The appointed moment. The invitation will be delivered by a very mysterious man who will refuse to answer any and all questions but will be very persuasive about this being something you will not want to miss.
Because at that moment of your appointed time a very dark vehicle will be picking you up. It might be a limousine, it might be a horse drawn carriage, it might be a motorcycle with a side car, it might be a hot air balloon. It might be a segway. Whatever it is it will be black. Because black is classy and my favorite color. And whatever picks you up, you will enjoy. I promise. Because I will know that about you.
You will be transported to the previously mentioned location that I rented a while back.
You will see familiar faces. Lots of them. You will also see some unfamiliar faces and wonder what the connection is. It shall be a mystery to some of you. Some of you will be excited (mostly because you have read this blog) some won’t have a clue (and then I’ll know for sure who does not read my blog).
There will be an atmosphere of excitement and joy. Happiness. But, again, unless you’ve read this blog you will not be sure why. And come to think of it if you aren’t reading this blog maybe I shouldn’t include you on the invite list.
I’ll have to think about this.
The excitement will build upon it’s self. You will be encouraged to mingle. All of you will probably not say anything because there really is no way this is happening. And you don’t want to be the one to look stupid so none of you say anything. In a short time you will be ushered to your seats. Go ahead, sit where ever you like. I haven’t planned the entire menu. But be guaranteed it will not be so fancy that I don’t know what it is.
After you eat maybe there will be some music. Yes, I have decided. Live music. The first song will be “Dead Skunk In The Middle Of The Road”. That will make a few of you nostalgic.
Then maybe just to torment you all you will be told the evening is over and be careful going home.
Oh I’m just kidding!
Of course at that point I will have to address you all. I will have to let you know about the jabillions (or multi millions) of dollars I have won. And how you, my family and friends (and this includes my dedicated blogging buddies) are going to benefit from this ginormous win!
That’s right. There are some of you who would never have to work again. Well, not the kind of work you don’t like any way. Hopefully we all turn in to great philanthropists and good deed doers. That’s part of my plan. But we’ll talk about that later after we get all of the technicalities taken care of.
Grant it since Husband and I have 15 siblings between us and my mom they will probably never have to work again. But if they want to I totally get that (shhh, I don’t really).
Some of you might not be quite as fortunate. It all depends on how many jabillions I have won. But regardless, if you are there you will get something very wonderful. Again, I promise.
The night will make your life different.
You will not just get part of my jabillions. You will know how much you mean to me. Because the jabillions mean nothing to me if I can’t make all of those I love and even just like a lot as happy as me.
You will know that you are more important than what all of the jabillions could buy me. So I’ll give you some of the jabillions to spend.
And the best part of all of this?
You think it’s just a blog post.
But what if, what if, you see a dark black limousine or horse drawn carriage or segway heading towards you? What if you look up and see a hot air balloon looming over head? What if you come out of work and there sits a black motorcycle with a side car? Just idling.
What if someone delivers you an invitation with beautiful calligraphy…
Isn’t it nice that for the rest of your life….
You have this to look forward to and anticipate?
Yes, it could happen.
The plans are made.