I never quite learned all that I could have about being female.
I never quite absorbed all of the ways of females.
I don’t think I let many of my female behavior genes fully develop.
In my defense I do have three older brothers. By the time I arrived surely there were some tired parents at the helm. It probably became quickly evident I was not ‘girly’. Any girly ideas my parents had for me were quickly dashed not even worried about… they knew there would be more girls sooner or later they could frill up and dumb down. And they did. Hahahahahaha, oh come on! That was funny! My two younger sisters surely just had some ruffles there. *Snerk*. Fine, maybe they aren’t dumb. But it was fun to write that.
Despite the fun of that, there’s more.
Mind you I’m not dissing females. I’m just saying I don’t feel like the typical girly female. I’ve discussed this before.
One aspect that is a blessing, and yet the proverbial curse as well… is my propensity to get snap dragon mad (I am copy righting that phrase just so you know) in a flash. And I do mean mad. I cuss (I know I know….sorry) and likely slam and/or bang a few things. It is usually very short lived. A quick explosion and I quickly recover. The curse of it is of course that I get angry so fast.
The whole point of this is to say I get very angry, very fast, and in very unfemale fashion I do not in any way expect Husband to understand this. I don’t expect him to predict it, understand it, resolve it or do a stinking thing about it. I fully recognize that it is not predictable. It is not understandable. It is not resolvable. God really did bless Husband with this, Husband can thank both God, and me.
And quite honestly there is usually no reason for it.
And quite honestly, it is 99% of the time my problem. My problem only.
I do apologize to him. I do tell him he does not have to do anything. I do tell him that there is absolutely no excuse for me to be mad. Yet, I am.
And if I can’t do a thing about it…
I sure don’t expect him to.
I have absolutely no wiles, no ability to wiles (is this a proper statement? if not just pretend it is) my snap bad mood in to his responsibility or his fault.
I just can not do it.
I do kinda feel guilty for being an anomaly. I kinda feel obligated to apologize to femaleness every where. And yet….I am very pleased I could correctly use the word ‘anomaly’ in a sentence. It’s a give and take world.
I kind of feel sorry for the guy. Because he wants to do something to help. To make it better. I can see it in his face. Or maybe he is wanting to duck and cover. I’m not sure. Fortunately he has started to understand. I don’t blame him for my moods, or the swings that the moods play upon.
So in addition to having no knack for make up. No curling iron or hair dryer. For not having finger nail polish. Or exfoliating things. Or even knowing what most of the things are in my sisters and/or daughters arsenal of female stuff I apparently don’t have the common sense God gave most women to know better than to tell this.
I mean…is it a big secret that others know there’s no real answer to our craziness?
NOTE TO WORLD: before anyone gets upset about the “dumb down” comment it is in reference to sibling torture rights and not females, femaleness, femininity or chauvinistic attitudes world wide. It is purely a sibling jab.