Did I Ask For My Soul To Be Recycled?

I freely admit I have bizarre thoughts.  Or perhaps we could put a positive spin on that and call them creative.   Not that there’s anything wrong with bizarre.  But creative seems to have less of a bad image.

I was sitting here thinking about how lazy I’ve gotten regarding meal times.  Where I use to cook for my kids, I don’t bother to cook for myself.  Grant it it’s no fun cooking just for me.  And Husband doesn’t eat too much of a  variety to warrant real  ‘cooking’.

So I’ve gotten lazy.  Which is probably why I’ve put on almost twenty pounds.  Easy food is fat on me food.

But something occurred to me.

Please  forgive me, surely this is going to get long winded.  But I usually manage to find my way back to what I was saying.

I have no idea what I believe in when it comes to what God does with us, for us, regarding our souls.  Does he give us a one shot deal down here?  Or do we get to come down here on various trips trying to better our standings?   You know, so we can grown and become better people/souls.   I doubt,  seriously,  that I personally can learn everything I need to learn in just one trip here.  Do we get a second shot if we were a roust about lout in one life?  Do we get a ticket to try an easy trip back here if we had a life of total torture and suffering the last time we were here?

Do we go about our heavenly existence watching and waiting and begging God to let us give it another go?

I’ve read different opinions.   Different theories.  But come on, none of us know. So all I can do is wonder.  So, I do.

Wonder.

Back to being a lazy slacker who seldom cooks.  What if…. instead of being disgusted with myself for being so stinking lazy I am being given a pass here?  What if God said to me…

“Hey Colleen (or whatever my heavenly name is/was) you had a pretty rough trip down to earth last time around.  I’ve got another opportunity for you.   It won’t always be spectacular but you will love your life.  You are going to have some phenomenal moments.  And this time around after you raise your kids you will have plenty to eat and won’t really have to do too much to get it.  Wink wink (yes He will say ‘wink wink’) you are even going to get a little plump.  And you know how I feel about plumpness.”    (As He pats His own Glorious belly.)  

Maybe last time on earth I was in Ireland during the famine.   How horrible would that be?   Or I lived during a time when you (I) had to grow, hunt, scavenge for every morsel of food.   And it was hard work.   Maybe whatever I did I did gracefully and God was pleased.

So now, as I sit here and contemplate being so lazy….maybe I don’t have to feel bad about it.   Maybe it’s a gift.   And I should be a little bit more grateful and a little less self-reproaching.

Or … man this wondering bit never stops.

Okay.

What if this is a gift.  But in accepting this gift I allow sloth in to my life.  My existence.

My soul.

I don’t want that.

This is what I get for wondering.  I started out thinking I’m a slug about meal time, and then I wanted to let myself off the hook with a little humor (and yes God does appreciate humor) and next thing you know I am allowing sloth to destroy me and lead me down a path I had absolutely no intention of trodding upon.

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGG!   I suppose this means I need to start cooking!

It doesn’t feel so bizarre now.