The thing about having brothers is…it’s not all great. When you’re a kid, number four kid at that, there’s not too much about you that the others haven’t already done before you: look cute, babble, talk, walk, etc…
There was the first baby, a boy. Prince of the world for a year and a half. Then came…..them. Having brothers who are twins born before you… well, there was nothing I could do to live up to that. I just happen to be the first girl. Big whoop.
And there are certain things about having older brothers that do not exactly give you cause for celebration when you are a child. There were just things that older brothers, apparently, were suppose to do. They did them well.
1. Older brothers come in to your classroom, see your test on the teachers’s desk and tell the others in class, and your parents, you got a BIG FAT F.
2. Older brothers join the other boys in the neighborhood to throw crab apples at you.
3. Older brothers join other older brothers in the neighborhood and ambush all of the younger sisters and try to terrorize them and tie them to trees! (Thank goodness Mrs. Yoder was walking us home from Bluebirds that night!)
4. Older brothers drive to school and make you walk.
5. Older brothers label you with the nickname “Pinky Stinky” and think it’s funny.
6. Older brothers get the best room in the house. The new one built in the attic. With that awesome shag carpet!
7. Older brothers get the best room in the house. The new one built in the basement with it’s own entrance at the side of the house. Not sure what the parents were thinking.
8. Older brothers never had to babysit or change diapers or clean out the smelly nasty cloth diapers that the younger siblings got to wear.
9. Older brothers apparently had lots of girls who liked them in high school who thought I wanted to know they liked my brothers.
10. Older brothers knew how to call someone a PIG with just enough contempt in their voices to piss you off and you end up getting yelled at because they had better skills at
manipulating manipulating parents.
Older brothers do something else.
They grow up.
And they do other things.
1. They pay some of your high school tuition for you.
2. They give you birthday money so you have some spending money.
3. They miss you when you suddenly grow up, get married, and are the first to leave home. Even before them.
4. They love your babies.
5. They build you rooms on your too small house.
6. They give you a car when you go through a divorce and have a small child.
7. They help you get your first small loan, and advise you on paying it off on time, not too early, to build your credit.
8. They take care of everything when your father dies while you do nothing but count on them.
9. They call you “Pinky” every time they see you because they miss you and are a little nostalgic about our youth.
10. They come to your martial arts test, as an adult, and make you feel very special.
11. They work harder than anyone I know. Taking care of everybody they know.
12. They don’t say much with words but speak loudly with action.
They are mom’s favorites (free pass on this one today brothers). They were the best workers dad ever knew (he told me so). Their siblings know they can call no matter what. No matter when. If they could stubbornize something to make our lives better they would do it. If you tell a stupid joke they are now mature enough to chuckle and not call you PIG.
The things brothers do.
I wouldn’t ever want to do without.
Happy birthday older brothers who are twins.