I’m Sad For Us

I’m sad.

About quite a few things.

Something terrible happened to someone famous.    As a result the opinions are being posted, recorded, and reported.

None of us can escape death.  Some deaths shock us.  Some deaths we have time to prepare for, though there really is no preparation that works well.  Some deaths seem more tragic than others.  Some deaths are more noble.  Honorable.  Tragic.  Some are felt like a slap to our collective senses of what is right.  Some leave many nodding saying “I saw that coming”.  Some we care about.  Some no one gives a damn about.   Some cause us to stop and take notice of what is wrong.   Some give us reason to pause and admire a life that got it right.

I have seen and heard a lot of comments in reference to Whitney Houston’s death. And sadly, I’m not surprised, but I am bothered.

I love our military men and women.  The fact that so many volunteer to give and sacrifice of themselves is beyond what I have the right to expect of another human being.  I can’t begin to express my gratitude.  My respect.  My admiration of and for them.  They give.  We receive.  And I admire them.

It does not prevent me from being sad about other situations that are not related to the military.

I grieve for those who didn’t ever get a chance to live out their potential.   They die young by illness or accident.  Being robbed of any chance to fulfill a life of promise and productivity.

It does not prevent me from being sad about other situations that are not related to the grief of this kind of loss.

My heart aches for the elderly who sit alone with no one to comfort them in their end days.  No love.  No support.  No one to hold their hands.  No one to tell them it will be okay and they will be missed.

It does not prevent me from being sad about other situations that are not related to the grief of this kind of loss.

To those who blame Whitney Houston for her own death?  Even though it’s not yet proven what it was.  Most suspect drugs were involved in some way.  Whether it was current use or health related issues because of what she has done to her body with previous use.  I don’t blame anyone who blames her.  Everyone has their own opinion.   The old saying says if it looks like, walks like, talks like a duck, it’s a duck.

I don’t fault anyone for their opinions.  We all have our own belief systems.  We all have our own way to process information and come to an opinion, a conclusion.  It’s part of our humanness…the ability to reason, conclude, process.

What I don’t understand is the callousness.

Why do people have to be so bitter?  Hateful?  Callous?

Why can’t we be saddened by the loss of another human being?   And be saddened at the circumstances?   If Whitney Houston made a choice to use drugs, and this escalated in to abuse and addiction, why can’t we be sad about that?   Why can’t we be sad that people make horrible decisions?  Why can’t we be horrified at what people will do to themselves?  Why do we mock the weakness of another one of us?

Why can’t we realize that addicts are people, first.  The addiction comes later.  And yes, hold them accountable, hold them at fault.  Blame them.  Understandable.

But this woman, she was created by man and woman.  Loved as a baby.  Held as a baby.  Loved as she grew in to a child.  She was somebody before she was somebody.  She got famous.  She did have a gift.  A beautiful gift.  Somewhere along the line something happened.  And unlike, apparently, millions of others I don’t know what that was.  Yes, I can surmise, yes I can see the obvious.   But I don’t know.

Drugs.  Bad choices.  Life gone crazy.

Now she’s dead.

Serve her right?   Many seem to think so.

But it makes me sad.  Sad for the child she was.  Sad for the person she was.  Sad for those who loved her and couldn’t save her.  Sad for those who loved her and didn’t help her.  Sad for the loss of a gift that was incredible.

And I’m sad that those who blame her can see no reason to be sad because she wasn’t military, or wasn’t a child, or a cancer victim, or alone or poor, or whatever it was she wasn’t.  Why can’t you blame her, and be sad for all of the things as humans we should feel for one another.

For all that everyone thinks she had, she’s still dead.   Being famous, being rich, being gifted…none of it saved her.

I just don’t understand why as people, as humans, we can’t be more respectful of something like this.    Maybe I’m not expressing this clearly, or very well.  But I just can’t understand, or fathom, the humor found in this or the lack of compassion for the death of one of us.   Our capacity to love, cherish, grieve is not measurable.  It is by our very design:  immeasurable.

I’m sad for those who loved her.  Truly loved her.  For those who’s lives will be personally affected by her death.

I’m sad for the loss of what I feel was a great gift.

I’m sad for the life lost, before her death.

I’m sad that we are stingy with our sadness.

I’m sad for us.