Walk With Me

If you’ve been abused I wish I could walk with you.

I would walk with you for quite a distance.  We could start where I am right now, and walk back to where I came from.  Or we could start where you are and walk forward together.  Or we could start where you are and walk in circles for a while.  Or we could start where you are and explore something new.

If you’ve been abused I wish I could talk with you while we walk.

I would ask you questions that you might want asked.  And if you don’t I will make sure I do everything I can to help you find your voice to say you don’t want to tell me anything.  But if there is something else you want to talk about.  And I will listen.  I don’t mind talking about the abused part.  Because talking about it got it out of my head.  But we’re all different.  You might not want to talk about it.  Or you might be tired of talking about it.  Or maybe you don’t know how to talk about it.

If you’ve been abused I wish I could tell you something.  I would ask you to look in the mirror and tell me what you see.  Then I would ask you to let me tell you what I see.  And I would tell you.  I would tell you what I see when I look at who you are.  Because who you are is not what someone did to you.  It may be a part of how you decide to develop, but what I want to tell you is, that is still up to you.  You will take what happened to you and …you will grab hold of  it  and you will decide what to do with it.  I would tell you that you have the power.  You have the ability.  You have the control.  You have the strength.   To be exactly who you want to be.  To be the kind of person you decide upon being.

If you’ve been abused I would want to assure you that touch is not bad.

A hug.  An embrace.  A caress.  A hand reaching out to you is not a bad thing.  But I also want you to know, it’s okay to not want it.  And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you for having boundaries, and expectations of respect for your boundaries.  I want to make sure you can say no.  And it’s someone else’s problem if they don’t understand that.

If you’ve been abused I wish I could tell you what you what you might want to look for, in yourself, and others.

So you know that some things make sense because of what someone else did to you.   Do you often find yourself out of focus?   Or having lost a few minutes to your mind wondering while someone else is talking?  Yeah, that might happen.  It’s really difficult to shut down the constant thoughts and wonderings.  The constant questioning yourself about what is going on around you and what is playing out in your head.  It’s okay.  But I hope you work on that because you can make it better.  You can decide when you want that to happen and when you want to control it.   Do you find yourself looking for comfort in food?  Or isolating yourself?  Or big and baggy clothes, hoping no one will notice you?  Yes, that might happen too.  And again, if it’s what you have to do right now, okay.  But if it’s not what you always want to do?  You can change it.

If you’ve been abuse I wish I could let you know so many things….

That life is fantastic.  That there is ugliness in other people who hurt others.  But there is not ugliness in you for having been hurt.  In you…there is hope.  There is strength.  How do I know this?  Because you are here.  Reading.  Or talking to someone.  Or struggling just to get through.  And that, is strength.

I would want to let you know that you have the ability to control.  Or you have the ability to give up some of your over control, and you can relax, if that’s what you want to do.

I would want you to know that no one else is an expert on you.  You have that honor.  And that honor comes with some responsibility.   You have a responsibility to yourself to be good to yourself.  To not assign false duties:  shame and guilt being the two biggest false duties you can pick up.  Put them down.

I would want you to know that finding someone to walk with, and talk with, and have listen to you, is a powerful tool for you.  And I would want you to know that there are people who are there wanting to help.

I would want you to know, that if you haven’t told someone, you need to.  You should.  And you will be amazed at the offers to walk this walk with you.

If you have been abused, you have felt alone.  You have felt neglected.  You have felt powerless.  I would encourage you to not walk backwards.  You might have to look back, but you don’t have to go back.  And to walk away?  All you have to do, is take one step.  And that is the best step you will ever take.

If I could walk with you, I would tell you about power.   And I would have you look in the exact place you will find that power.   And you will be surprised.