Life Too Fast

If I live to be 98 I am fast approaching the half way point.

Fast.

Super fast approaching.

Grant it, if I live to be older than I’m not half way there yet.   But still moving through here pretty fast.

So it stands to reason that I went on a bike ride today.

I hoped (and planned) to ride at least 40 miles today.  When I finished the first mile I was looking at the odometer thinking, crap, only 39 more miles and this ride is done.   Which got me to thinking about when I first started riding this trail years ago.   I was on a mission to get healthy and I was chasing that ever illusive weight loss.  But back then when I rode I use to finish that first mile of maybe a 10 mile ride and think oh my God nine more miles still to go.  Knowing when I got back to that one mile mark I would still be thinking oh God one more mile to go.    And be so very grateful when I stopped the bike and got off of that butt aching saddle.

What a difference a few miles, and a few years, makes.

I have been hurtling myself through life since I was a kid.  When I was 10, 11, 12 etc I could not wait until I was that all mighty and freeing age of 18.

Could not wait.  Because of course I couldn’t  be who I am, was, until I was 18.   Right?  When I was a child I thought I was there to be somebody else’s child.  I wasn’t really allowed to be me, until I was me legally.   Of course that makes no sense.  I didn’t say I was a smart child.

So I hurtled through life trying to hurry myself along to be me.

Silly me.

Today I realized as I rode fast that the faster I rode the faster the ride would be over.  The faster the ride was over the closer I was to the weekend being over.  The closer I was to the weekend being over, the closer I am to sitting in my cubicle at work.   And the farther I am from this bike ride.

And while I’m pondering this I come across this fella.

Of course I see symbolism and irony and signs in everything.  I’ve never seen a turtle this big in real life outside of an aquarium, ever.  He was pretty big.  And as soon as I snapped this picture he jumped.  I had no idea turtles could jump.  And maybe you don’t find it as interesting as I do that while I’m pondering riding through life super fast this turtle appears in my path and I actually stop my bike and get off to take his picture before he could run fully away.

I got back on the bike and rode some more.  And rode it fast.  Because it’s what I do.  Even while I’m pondering why am I riding so fast through everything I do.  When Husband and I turned around and rode back I saw something new along the trail.  My legs were sore.  Throbbing a little actually.  But I had to stop.

To play.

Sadly I was so sore from riding a one speed bike as fast as I could that my legs did not want to play along.  But the spirit for play was in me.  So we did.  Well, tried.

This was a climbing rope.  I knew to wrap my legs around the rope to climb it.  But my legs were not in agreement to do so.   And sadly my vanity will not let you show the rest of me.

I will, however, show you Husband.   This is play at it’s best.  I laughed happily when his first attempt ended up with this picture.

Then he had me walk the plank.   Which was great fun on throbbing legs.  And again, vanity rules.  Picture edited.

I jumped twice hoping Husband would get a picture of me in the air.  This is the closest he came to it.  I am sure he had great fun at my exasperation of his photography skills.

Then I saw this tree.

And I knew I had to climb it.

Though I was pretty sure I could get on that one branch despite the ache in my legs…. My heart would not let me do it.  When we got up to the long low branch we could see some damage to the limb.  Some age and stress.  I did not want to be the one who thought hefting her self upon the branch was more important than what that tree was reaching out for, or to.

I am not more important.   And I was not going to risk that trees efforts to get a picture.

But I’m glad we went over, touched it, appreciated it.

I’m glad I stopped the ride long enough to play.

I finished the ride, a little longer than I had hoped for.  Yay!  And though I don’t want to go too fast through life, or finish the ride just to finish it.   I also don’t want to go so slow that I don’t challenge me.  That I don’t challenge life.

I guess I’m going to get to 98 or older no matter what I do.  Fast or slow it’s going to happen.  I don’t want to hurtle so fast through it that I miss what’s along the trail.   So I guess today was some good practice at stopping, and playing along the way.