Child: mom it hurts when I do this!
Mom: don’t do that!
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Child: brother won’t stop looking at me!
Mom: you don’t know he’s looking at you unless you’re looking at him.
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Child: but why can’t I?
Mom: because I said so. That’s why.
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Mom: Patrick! James! Heather! Tara!
Child: no response because the right name wasn’t used.
Mom: DAMNIT! You know who you are!
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Mom: let’s say grace.
Eight Children: “grace”
Mom: that’s not funny.
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Mom: be nice to your brothers and sisters. One day they will be the best friends you have!
Child: yeah…right (muttered under breath with back turned)
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Mom: hug your brother.
Child: gross!
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Child: you’re a PIG!
Other child: Mom!!!! Brother/sister called me a pig!
Mom: go stand in front of the mirror and say one hundred times “I am a pig”
Other child standing in front of the mirror: “I am not (whispered) a pig”
Mom: I can hear you!
******
Mom: get ready for church!
Child: I am !
Mom: for God’s sake don’t sit anywhere near me in church I don’t want anyone to know your my child dressed like that!
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Mom: Colleen child go to the store and get a head of lettuce. NOT CABBAGE. Lettuce. NOT CABBAGE. You ALWAYS get cabbage.
Colleen Child returning from the store: handing Mom what is definitely lettuce.
Mom: absently taking lettuce from Colleen’s child’s hands. Looks at the definitely head of lettuce and drops her head: oh my God it’s cabbage.
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Child: “uh…..mom….”
Mom: “damnit” with sad drop of the exasperated head.
******
Mom: happy birthday!
Colleen Child: thanks for having me!
Mom: it was my pleasure!
Colleen Child: really?
******
Child:
Happy Mother’s Day.
I love you.
Mom: oh! you didn’t need to do anything!
Happy Mother’s Day Mom.
And to everyone who’s Mom is watching over them…. God bless and I hope you all laugh at some of your mom’s momism’s!
Go outside and get the stink blowed off you and if you’re thirsty swallow spit were two of moms’ favorites.
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Ha! I love the swallow your spit if you’re thirsty!
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Happy Mother’s Day!
Red.
PS Following my blog via WP gets you nowhere…I do not show up in the reader. You can RSS or email (it is only once a day…at best).
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Thanks Red, Happy Mother’s Day to you as well. I subscribed by email, thanks for the tip!
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No, problem….I just have to find the OTHER 181 followers and tell them the same thing. *sigh* Red.
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Oh my! Good luck! I was going to suggest writing that in a post….but if they aren’t getting the post they think they already signed up for. I *sigh* with you.
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It is written in around 10 posts and there is a PAGE which says it…does no good…*shakes head* “Technology”
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I know, I took the ‘easy’ way and when I went to look for you I went through the new button on our toolbar that gives us an orange number indicator and clicked “follow” next to your name. Geez we just keep getting lazier! 😦
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Happy mothers day best mother in the world!! 🙂 thank you for having me! ❤
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Hahahahahhaha! MY PLEASURE!!!! ❤
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Happy Mother’s Day! I don’t remember if my mom had any “momisms”, but she used to follow me around and bitch when she was mad at me. I also knew that I was in serious trouble when she used my first AND middle names.
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There must be a law that mom’s use both names when angry at the children. My mom did it. I did/do it. I hope you had a great day!!!!
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