Mom-isms

Child:  mom it hurts when I do this!

Mom:   don’t do that!

******

Child:  brother won’t stop looking at me!

Mom:  you don’t know he’s looking at you unless you’re looking at him.

******

Child:  but why can’t I?

Mom:  because I said so.  That’s why.

******

Mom:  Patrick!  James!  Heather!   Tara!

Child:  no response because the right name wasn’t used.

Mom:  DAMNIT!  You know who you are!

******

Mom:  let’s say grace.

Eight Children:   “grace”

Mom:  that’s not funny.

******

Mom:  be nice to your brothers and sisters.  One day they will be the best friends you have!

Child:  yeah…right (muttered under breath with back turned)

******

Mom:  hug your brother.

Child:   gross!

******

Child:  you’re a PIG!

Other child:   Mom!!!!  Brother/sister called me a pig!

Mom:  go stand in front of the mirror and say one hundred times “I am a pig”

Other child standing in front of the mirror:   “I am not (whispered) a pig”

Mom:   I can hear you!

******

Mom:  get ready for church!

Child:  I am !

Mom:  for God’s sake don’t sit anywhere near me in church I don’t want anyone to know your my child dressed like that!

******

Mom:   Colleen  child go to the store and get a head of lettuce.  NOT CABBAGE.  Lettuce.   NOT CABBAGE.  You ALWAYS get cabbage.

Colleen Child returning from the store:  handing Mom what is definitely  lettuce.

Mom:  absently taking lettuce from Colleen’s child’s hands.   Looks at the definitely head of lettuce and drops her head:  oh my God it’s cabbage.

******

Child:   “uh…..mom….”

Mom:   “damnit”  with sad drop of the exasperated head.

******

Mom:   happy birthday!

Colleen Child:  thanks for having me!

Mom:  it was my pleasure!

Colleen Child:  really?

******

Child:

Happy Mother’s Day.

I love you.

Mom:  oh!  you didn’t need to do anything!

Happy Mother’s Day Mom.

And to everyone who’s Mom is watching over them…. God bless and I hope you all laugh at some of your mom’s momism’s!

12 thoughts on “Mom-isms

  1. Happy Mother’s Day!
    Red.
    PS Following my blog via WP gets you nowhere…I do not show up in the reader. You can RSS or email (it is only once a day…at best).

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        • Oh my! Good luck! I was going to suggest writing that in a post….but if they aren’t getting the post they think they already signed up for. I *sigh* with you.

          Like

            • I know, I took the ‘easy’ way and when I went to look for you I went through the new button on our toolbar that gives us an orange number indicator and clicked “follow” next to your name. Geez we just keep getting lazier! 😦

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  2. Happy Mother’s Day! I don’t remember if my mom had any “momisms”, but she used to follow me around and bitch when she was mad at me. I also knew that I was in serious trouble when she used my first AND middle names.

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    • There must be a law that mom’s use both names when angry at the children. My mom did it. I did/do it. I hope you had a great day!!!!

      Like

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