The Officer Felt Sorry For Him

Poor Husband.

First I out law all “stupid” in the house today.   I guess I should have told him to just go ahead and cut out as much ‘stupid’ from his life as possible .   That’ll teach me.

We are driving.  He is driving.  I am reading a book.

The GPS tells him to go one way, he goes another.   I knew he would.  He does happen to know the short cuts the GPS does not.  So to the tunes of “re-calculating” he meanders his way around the outside of a little town.   He hits the last road before the highway.

I’m not looking up.   But when Husband lets fly with an expletive that he hardly ever uses I have reason to look up.

I see a shiny white police car with pretty red and blue lights flickering on top.

Remarkably , for me, I do not let loose with expletives.   That is highly unusual.  I asked Husband what he did.  He said he was going 35 in a 25.   I look back at my book.  I know he feels bad.  He is usually the world’s slowest driver which causes me to use many more expletives than my quota allows.   I said “you aren’t having a good driving month are you?”

“No, I’m not.”

Husband stops right where we are.  The officer walks up and Husband already has the window rolled down.

Officer:   “this is a 25 through here partner”.   He’s looking at us.  He’s a trained officer so you know he’s quickly taking in the whole picture.  Matching bicycles on the back of the car.  Matching shirts upon the occupants of the car.  Officer feels sorry for Husband.

Husband:  “I know.  I’m sorry.”

Officer:  “Well, I’m not gonna give it to you this time.  I’m gonna let her”  nodding his head at me “take care of that.”

Husband:  “she already is”.

Me:  silently:   what the hell- I didn’t say a thing!

Officer:  “I get a lot of people tearing through here.  Let’s just be careful and keep the speed.”   He was very kind and very cordial.  Serious about his job.  As soon as I had seen the flashing lights after Husband’s vulgar but brief tirade (I might be exaggerating) and realized what was going on I was resigned to having a ticket to pay.  Sometimes this just happens.   Today Husband caught a break.  No point in turning all bitchy.  I was actually reading my book by the time he got to the window.

But apparently he thought by the looks of us, me?, I was going to give him hell.   I could read the sympathy all over his face.

After a few more warnings and pleasantries we were sent on our speed and law abiding way.

As we pulled away I told Husband “you know he feels sorry for you thinking I’m the one who is making you look so dorky”.

Husband:  “I know.”