Sometimes I pray. I know I’m heard. I just don’t always know the answers to my prayers.
Fortunately, and far too late in life,
I realized that in addition to prayers full of questions and prayers full of requests,
I need to fill my prayers with thanks.
Sometimes I need to remember that what I have I will not always need.
Structures don’t guide me. Structures don’t protect me.
They are sometimes temporary shelter. They may protect some things.
But never where my heart lies.
Sometimes I think of my temporary time. The time that others had. And time they no longer need.
There will be a time when my time here is gone along the way. The briefest of impact.
Sometimes I know I will be someone’s past.
Sometimes I ponder the devotion of others. Lives lived hard.
Lives lived building, protecting and sacrificing.
And sometimes I wonder why I couldn’t be so strong.
And devoted.
Sometimes I think of the directions I’ve reached.
Where I’ve branched out in my life.
And where I have failed to grow.
Sometimes I think of the core of me, and the reach I’ve yet to grow.
Sometimes I see something that stops my musings.
Stops my ponders.
Sometimes I realize that I know nothing yet, that I hope to know.
Sometimes I just accept that there is more.
More than I can appreciate.
Sometimes I think of the road I’m on, not knowing where it leads me.
Grateful at times for the not knowing.
Fearful at times of the unknown.
Sometimes I find myself reaching.
Not knowing what for.
Other times I reach, and grasp in desperation,
things I need to let go.
Sometimes I need to remind myself that some promises are kept.
Some promises are forever.
Some promises I need not doubt.
