I Am Not Your Honey

So.  I have a great challenge today.

How do I take the incident of today and turn it in to a positive post?

I have been in a people serving field for nearly 20 years.   And today someone has the honor of earning the number one spot in my life.   Today, someone has ranked themselves as my number one most angry moment (31 minutes long moment) of a twenty year long career.  From 4:59 p.m. until 5:30 p.m.   This person made me angrier and more frustrated than I have ever been in my work life.

What could this person have done to earn that spot?  What can I compare it to?

Let’s see.   I have sat in dog feces for work.  I have sat in human feces for work.  Neither incidents, of course, on purpose.

I have been flashed by both sexes of all possible biological body parts, with and without scars, for work.  I was never a willing participant.    And always caught by surprise.

I have been kissed by very grateful people who I do not know.   Regardless of how grateful they are, and harmless they are, I am not a willing participant of this.  And usually very unsuspecting of it’s upcoming occurrence.  This also in the line of duty.

I was bitten by an angry and protective poodle.  Who obviously didn’t understand I was there to protect who he (the poodle) was protecting.

While working I have had more than enough (once is too many) persons I do not know run their hands through my hair, or bounce it upon my spiky hair, and tell me they love my hair.   Boundaries are sacred to me.  Even at work.

I have sat in homes where roaches crawled over me.    The first time it happened,  to make sure I did not freak the kind old lady out, I did not react at all.   On the outside.

I have been yelled at by children.  Cussed out by children.  I had to handcuff a child.  I had to remain calm when a young man decided to test me by threatening to do bodily harm to me.   I remained calm.  It was my job.

I’ve had to deal with pedophiles.

I’ve had to deal with drug users and pushers.

I’ve had to deal with inebriated persons.

I’ve had to deal with people who neglect and/or abuse their family members.

I’ve had to deal with persons who take advantage of the elderly, the system, and the people trying to help anyone down and out.

I’ve been yelled at.

I’ve been embarrassed.

I’ve made mistakes.

I’ve been hung up on.

I’ve walked in to homes wondering if I will walk out alive because I didn’t know what to expect.

I’ve been angry and frustrated by the limitations of what I can and can not do to help in situations where people are suffering.

I’ve had to tell my boss she is right.

I’ve had to tell my boss I was wrong.  Wait, sorry, that didn’t happen.

What does one have to do to earn this number one spot in my life?

Apparently it’s not very difficult.

You need to call me “honey” and “sweety” in very condescending tones.   And quite simply blame me for not producing miracles.  And not having my magic wand to fix a life long problem.   And not understand I share your frustration.   Just blame me for a problem I did not create.   And can not fix.  But worry myself over because I can’t.   And whether you know it or not, it bothers me greatly, the things I can not fix.

I am greatly minimizing the story.

While trying desperately to find my sense of balance.   And let go of this anger.  And still worry about the problem you can not fix, but demand of me to make go away.

How do I turn this in to a positive post?

I am positive I will go to work tomorrow ready to do my best at trying to do what I can.    I am positive that you will still be blaming me.

And I’m positive that you will never understand the sympathy you are getting from me right now because I understand your suffering.

I wish I could fix it.

I’m positive about that.