I Am Not Your Honey

So.  I have a great challenge today.

How do I take the incident of today and turn it in to a positive post?

I have been in a people serving field for nearly 20 years.   And today someone has the honor of earning the number one spot in my life.   Today, someone has ranked themselves as my number one most angry moment (31 minutes long moment) of a twenty year long career.  From 4:59 p.m. until 5:30 p.m.   This person made me angrier and more frustrated than I have ever been in my work life.

What could this person have done to earn that spot?  What can I compare it to?

Let’s see.   I have sat in dog feces for work.  I have sat in human feces for work.  Neither incidents, of course, on purpose.

I have been flashed by both sexes of all possible biological body parts, with and without scars, for work.  I was never a willing participant.    And always caught by surprise.

I have been kissed by very grateful people who I do not know.   Regardless of how grateful they are, and harmless they are, I am not a willing participant of this.  And usually very unsuspecting of it’s upcoming occurrence.  This also in the line of duty.

I was bitten by an angry and protective poodle.  Who obviously didn’t understand I was there to protect who he (the poodle) was protecting.

While working I have had more than enough (once is too many) persons I do not know run their hands through my hair, or bounce it upon my spiky hair, and tell me they love my hair.   Boundaries are sacred to me.  Even at work.

I have sat in homes where roaches crawled over me.    The first time it happened,  to make sure I did not freak the kind old lady out, I did not react at all.   On the outside.

I have been yelled at by children.  Cussed out by children.  I had to handcuff a child.  I had to remain calm when a young man decided to test me by threatening to do bodily harm to me.   I remained calm.  It was my job.

I’ve had to deal with pedophiles.

I’ve had to deal with drug users and pushers.

I’ve had to deal with inebriated persons.

I’ve had to deal with people who neglect and/or abuse their family members.

I’ve had to deal with persons who take advantage of the elderly, the system, and the people trying to help anyone down and out.

I’ve been yelled at.

I’ve been embarrassed.

I’ve made mistakes.

I’ve been hung up on.

I’ve walked in to homes wondering if I will walk out alive because I didn’t know what to expect.

I’ve been angry and frustrated by the limitations of what I can and can not do to help in situations where people are suffering.

I’ve had to tell my boss she is right.

I’ve had to tell my boss I was wrong.  Wait, sorry, that didn’t happen.

What does one have to do to earn this number one spot in my life?

Apparently it’s not very difficult.

You need to call me “honey” and “sweety” in very condescending tones.   And quite simply blame me for not producing miracles.  And not having my magic wand to fix a life long problem.   And not understand I share your frustration.   Just blame me for a problem I did not create.   And can not fix.  But worry myself over because I can’t.   And whether you know it or not, it bothers me greatly, the things I can not fix.

I am greatly minimizing the story.

While trying desperately to find my sense of balance.   And let go of this anger.  And still worry about the problem you can not fix, but demand of me to make go away.

How do I turn this in to a positive post?

I am positive I will go to work tomorrow ready to do my best at trying to do what I can.    I am positive that you will still be blaming me.

And I’m positive that you will never understand the sympathy you are getting from me right now because I understand your suffering.

I wish I could fix it.

I’m positive about that.

45 thoughts on “I Am Not Your Honey

  1. Chatter Master, I am very sorry you have had such a no-so-positive ending to your long and hot day. There is a positive side – the day is over. And since your knee is likely still swollen and cannot “blog”, you can “knog”.


  2. I am also certain that you don’t get nearly the credit you deserve for the amount of crap you put up with in your job. Physical and symbolic.


    • Haha, physical, I got that. Actually I have a very supportive team, my boss and coworker are great sources of comfort and release. I think we all try to make sure to recognize the good works we do because those we are helping are not always able to see it. But still, some moments…. they just hit you different than other moments.


    • I don’t know about incredibly good. But I do what I can. And I totally recognize that I am limited by what I “can” do. Unfortunately in other people’s eyes they do not recognize we have limitations.


  3. Aren’t you a miracle worker? Can’t you step in a change how a person has been living their entire life? Can’t you fix problems family should be dealing with? Well can’t you?

    Some people are just clueless about your job and just want you to take care of their responsibilities. Tomorrow will be better.


    • Oh geez. Now I feel guilty for being so frustrated. True, some really don’t know. I was really upset because the person was taking what I was saying as saying I wouldn’t do ANYTHING. When what I was trying to do was explain the situation because I had info this person did not.


  4. I too have encountered many people through the years that are angry at me and blame me because their child has a chronic illness. what I’d love to be able to tell them is that if I truly had any control over who’s child was sick, I most certainly would not choose yours as you are an a$$ and would prefer to never see you again!


  5. I am soooo with you on that. (Clearly this is Stacey’s voice now… not Bills’ – although Dad would agree with you that “honey” takes the prestige out of every good you have ever done – except when it is on “the list”. TTFN


  6. You only got mad because you care so deeply! We are all entitled to our emotions. We need more people like you in this world.


  7. The most important jobs are always the least appreciated by others. When you add caring to that job you are even less appreciated. Just know that you are doing an amazing job if others are blaming you. It means that they can see your love and compassion and are lashing out at it because it scares them. 🙂


    • Thanks Montana, I have heard that if you are doing a good job and people are angry, than you are doing a really good job. 🙂 Sadly, in this case, I actually did not do anything, which is the problem. They think I can ‘fix’ something that I don’t have the ability to fix. But thank you VERY much for the support!!!!


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