What I Don’t Need To Know About Your Sex Life


There.  I have already said more than I really care to say about sex in the above “sentence”.  I’m pretty modest as far as today’s standards go.  I’m probably fairly modest for 1812, let alone 2012.

But really, there are some things I don’t need to know.

And because I don’t need to know it, I really don’t get all of the ‘hoopla’ that gets bantered about the world these days.   Sexuality, homosexuality, heterosexuality, anysexuality.

What does anyone else’s sex life have to do with me?

Honestly, the only person’s sexuality I am concerned about is the person I am in love with.  And he and I happen to have a fondness for one another that works perfectly for our personal preferences.   That’s the extent of my need to know about anyone else’s sexuality.

Why, do tell, does anyone else’s preference affect/effect me?   Honestly, I think there is too much talk about sex in general.   There’s too much public debate.  There’s certainly too much hate.   There’s not enough respect for one another as humans.   We need to get over ourselves all ready.  Each human being should have the same basic rights as the next.  Period.  End of discussion.    Who that man or that woman chooses to love.  Who you prefer to sleep with.  None of these things has any bearing on my life.

For any of us to think that someone else’s love life and desires to commit to another is any of our (outsider’s) business is truly ridiculous.

I don’t care about your sex life.  Again, whether you are homosexual, heterosexual, or anysexual-I don’t need to know about it.  PDA’s?  Okay, I may have an opinion on that, but only because it applies to all of us:  PDA’s should be limited.   I don’t want to see anyone making out in front of me.   Ever.  Cause you know what I’m going to do?  STARE!  Why?  Not because of your sexual preference but because I’m totally shocked at what you are doing and not sure why you are doing it in front of everyone and I can’t make myself look away because I’m so surprised people do that in public.

There are just basic things I want to know about people in my life, their sex life is never  included.  I’m  certain that if you ask any of my friends  none of them can honestly say I have ever asked them about their sex lives.   But what I do want from the people in my life?  And the reason I hang out with the people in my life?   It’s because of who they are and how they treat me.  It’s really that simple.  I look for kindness, compassion, humor, tolerance, patience (to help teach me patience), a little more humor.  I guess what I really look for, and hope for, in others is a decency and kindness, an acceptance of me for all of my quirks and idiosyncrasies.    I know I have them.

I strongly believe in the idea that we don’t all have to agree, for many of us to be “right”.   Not agreeing with one another should not be an automatic condemnation that the other belief is wrong.   What I believe in may not work for you.   And I respect that.  And what you believe may not work for me, I might be kind of curious about your beliefs and listen to them, asking questions.   And I will thank you for explaining them to me.   And our discussion will be one of learning about each other.   Not a discussion finding out we are different, there for one of us is wrong, and we must be hateful towards one another because we are different.

I know we all tend to judge one another.  I know many of us use religion, the Bible and our faith as reasons to support what we believe.   I can’t preach the bible, I can’t quote a saint, I can’t speak for others beliefs.  All I know is that the God I believe in is never going to expect me to hate or judge another person for their sexuality (but I can stare at any ridiculous displays of affection in public).  I believe in other’s rights to their own opinion as well.  If I believe a man marries a woman and it is the only legitimate ‘marriage’ than I shall marry a man only.   You, should marry whomever you love and want to commit yourself to.  If I believe man can marry man or woman can marry woman, than I shall marry according to my preference.  You, should marry whomever you love and want to commit yourself to.  If I think we’re all crazy for even thinking about marriage, well, you should marry or not marry whomever you wish to marry or avoid.   I am not so egocentric as to believe that I am right and know what is best for everyone.  God knew what He was doing by not putting me in charge of picking your significant other for you.   He knows I would botch that up pretty bad.  As far as opinions go, opinions should not change the basic expectation that one human being is as deserving of basic human rights as the next human being.

You know what just occurred to me?  I am pretty certain I have a multitude of individuals in my life who’s sexual orientation I do not know.   Why?  Because they haven’t told me.   Because I haven’t asked.  Because it’s none of my business.  And because it would not change the relationship I have with that person.   Funny isn’t it?  That we have relationships with an entire world of people around us, most of whom we will never, ever have sexual relationships with.  Yet the world seems a little preoccupied with what the 99.99999999% of the population they aren’t sleeping with  sexual orientation is.

I have other things to worry about.

I respect you enough to not care about your sexual preference.