The Test

What if everything in our lives is a test?

What if we have to live our lives to get answers to formulate who, exactly, we are.  At the end, our answers are tallied and our score is given.   I’m not sure if I would pass.  Then again, I don’t know the answers to score my answers anyway.

What if every person or situation that we come across is a test to see how we handle ourselves.   What if every chance encounter of disagreement a grade is given to see how we handle ourselves?   I know, it’s only ‘what if’.

But…what if….it’s so?

We all have beliefs that we hold dear.  That are true to us and it doesn’t make sense that others don’t hold these beliefs true as well.  It confuses us, that others don’t agree.  What if the test isn’t about getting others to think like you or agree with you.   What if the test is about how you handle yourself in knowing someone else is ‘wrong’.

Well, if you indeed, know you are right.  I am pretty sure if life is a test that I am mostly failing because I never know the certain answer.

What if I am right, and you are wrong, and I hold it against you that you’re wrong.   Does that make me more right?  Or just as wrong?

What if, to pass the test, I am graded on how I treat those who I don’t agree with and who I perceive as wrong.   It’s not about the subject we disagree about.  It’s about how we treat one another while we disagree.

What if part of the test is standing strong in my convictions and not swaying to popular, or unpopular, persuasion.  I know I would fail, because I know I am usually swayed by a person’s emotions and humanity, than I am about being right and strong  about my convictions.

What if part of the test is about absolutes.   And I have absolute belief that I am not capable of applying blanket positives for or upon every person I encounter.  I don’t feel absolutely sure that what I know for me is right for you.  But if this is a test, than other people’s certainties and absolutes leave me feeling like I’m just out here flailing along, and failing.

What if part of the test is knowing Who to trust and I fail by trusting someone who isn’t in charge, isn’t in control, isn’t any different than me.  What if I fail because I trust someone….like me.   Someone….capable of failing.  Capable of being…wrong.   I know I’m capable of failing, capable of being wrong, I wouldn’t want anyone picking me to give them the answers.

I kind of think our life is a test.  Whether we are graded by others, or Someone greater than ourselves, or self graded.  I don’t know this for certain.  I kind of suspect it is, a test I mean.  Sometimes I wish I knew better answers.   But if this is all about ‘what if’s’ than I guess I can hope that if life is a test…..  I’m not the only one who isn’t sure of the answers.   And I hope I’m not always wrong.   And I hope I’m not always right.