Take My Money. Please.

I have nothing better to do with my money.  So I just need to give it to scamming, thieving, criminals.  Is that redundant?  Thieves and criminals?  Possibly.  Which means I probably broke some grammar law.  Which is better than breaking some law towards my fellow man.   Those of you who are experts at particles and parts of sentencing may feel violated.  I apologize.  See?  I don’t even feel good about harming you in this harmless but for that fingernails on chalkboard sensation you get when you read my improper sentence structure.  And speaking of sentence structure how about a little more structure for those violating some real (more harmful?) laws.

Ach.

Husband ordered me a pair of sandals. Nothing fancy.  Functional.  Sturdy.  Liked by me shoes.  So of course he hops right on line.  Finds a decent deal.  Orders.  They never show up.   He calls the company, only, it’s not the company he ordered the shoes from.  The helpful man asked him to look at his receipt again and finds the name of the company, which has the same words as this man’s company, just in a different order.  Scammed.  He explained it to the Husband.  Husband apologizes to me.

Uh.  Hmmmm.   Well, Husband has no need to apologize.

I shall ask the scamming thieving skank who stole our money to apologize.  That’s right.  I’m calling you out.

Just in case any of these thieving skanks have morals and a huge desire to be blog reading (they should have plenty of time seeing as how they do not work) I shall direct my words to you, the thieving skank.

Dear Thieving Skank,

Here’s the deal.  I work.  Every day.  I have to earn my paycheck in a legal and ethical manner.  I have to then use my money to pay my bills, and if I am lucky, buy a pair of shoes or a little bit of food.  You, on the other hand, are a thieving skank.  In the event I have not used that title for you often enough I will repeat it some more.   Thieving Skank, you will live a horrible life because you are a thieving skank.  You have no value if the only thing you know how to do is steal from people.  If you do know how to do something else, you do not do it well, because I don’t know it about you.   All I know is you are a thieving skank.   I happen to know there are many of you running about using this moniker.   Which of course makes you quite the dullard.  You think you are brilliant because you are scamming people out of money without providing product or service or value of any kind.

The joke is on you.

Where you think you are brilliant.  The world sees you as a thieving skank.  If you were brilliant you would put this supposed brilliance to work to accomplish something great.  To show us you are brilliant.  You would create a product people want and you would be eager to show off and sell.  You would provide a service people can not live without, and didn’t even know it until you created this service.  If you were so brilliant you would solve all of the unanswered questions of our times and make life better for all of man kind.

Instead, you chose Thieving Skank as your life goal.

Well done Thieving Skank, well done.

You have reached the pinnacle of your success.

Seeing as how the Thieving Skank will likely not read this far because I will have bored him/her I just want it known that I really do have better things to do with my money than give it to thieving skanks.

Like burn it in my incinerator.   ( I don’t have one.  And I wouldn’t burn it.  But it would be a better option than Thieving Skank getting it.)

Well then.  I think I’m done with that.