My sister in law asked me to go gambling with her.
“Okay.” I’ve never done this, so why not. “How much should I take?”
“No more than you want to lose.” She said.
It didn’t take long for me to consider how much I was willing to lose. In all honesty I don’t want to throw away a quarter let alone any more. I told her “two dollars and fifty cents”. She told me to make sure I brought hot dog money.
So today was the big day. My big gambling adventure.
I had not a clue as to what to do. I envisioned cashing in some paper money for some quarters. And one quarter at a time I would then throw away my money.
Well no. Stupid progress even messed that up. You put money in, but then it gives you a piece of paper. And you put that paper (or more money paper) in to the machines. And they just let you know how many ‘credits’ or money you have left. For that reason alone I will never go gambling again. Where is the fun? The excitement? The dirty hands from handling all of the coins? I can’t very well put a big plastic bucket under a spout to catch the coins as they come clanging out of the machine, when it’s all automated and paper, now can I?
No. I can’t.
Oh it was all pretty and clean. And sparkly lights every where. Free pop. Oh, wait, sorry. I should say “free” pop. You know putting the quotes around it make it not really free. As long as you understand that than you are with me.
One sister in law showed me how to do this thing called gambling. After watching her three times I tried it on my own. I wondered around looking at all of the machines. My gosh they have everyone’s lucky icon stuck on some kind of a machine. I decided to try Atlas. The machine, not the man. I’m married.
Atlas was good to me. In no time at all I was up over eighty dollars. I could start to love this thing called gambling. Then some guy sat next to me and I stopped winning. I have a few choice words for that dude. He sucked all of my luck out of me or the machine. Why did he have to sit next to me when there are 10,000 other empty machines?
I tried another machine. I couldn’t figure out what it had to do to win. But the money kept deducting and the winning was lost so I left that machine. I meandered about. Looking for my own lucky symbols. I mean, if I found a “Grace O’Malley” machine I was all in! I didn’t. Nor could I find a bagel machine.
Then I ran back in to the gangsters who brought me. We all watched while one of them hit some money. So, that’s what you’re supposed to do. Okay. I meander off again. My eighty dollars up soon dwindled down. And rose back up. Okay. Well if I don’t spend any more than that first $20 and get to keep playing, this is kind of fun.
We took a break for lunch. Instead of grilled chicken or something else that may pretend to be healthy I thought I ought to just go for broke. I’m gambling for crying out loud. So I had New York Cheesecake and coffee. I know. Call me wicked. Call me dangerous. I was living large.
We returned to gambling. I wondered around. Just waiting for the machine to call out to me. Give me that feeling. You know. The one that says sit here and win. I didn’t really get that feeling from any of them. So I started looking for games that would take my money slower. They might be “penny” machines but minimum bets are “30”, “40” and up. Which does not make them penny machines. It makes them “30”, “40” and up machines. I just thought the slower I threw my money away, the longer the fun would last.
And it did.
Until I ran out.
Of all of my money.
I sent my daughter a text and told her I lost:
“No more $”
She sent a text back and said:
“LOL…did you have fun?”
I sent a text back that said:
“:) yes. Too much. Say goodbye to ur Christmas presents.”
She sent a text back:
“LOL. You’re too funny.”
Just so she stops LOL-ing…… Here is a picture of my winnings. 🙂
I lost track. I don’t know if this is technically my winnings. Or technically what I had left over. I think I experienced every emotion one experiences when they gamble.
“Oh my God I’m winnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnning!”
“This is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“I can pay off my car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (This was happened when I was up forty dollars. I know. Pitiful hope.)
“Okay play seven times then go to the next one.”
“No, I can play until it’s back down to the original twenty dollars.”
“I can’t stop now! It’s going to hit for the next person if I stop.”
“Okay I can play until it’s down to ten dollars.”
“I meant five dollars.”
“It’s okay I still have another twenty dollars.”
“Where the hell did all of my money go????”
“I wish I’d have brought my ATM card in.”
I wonder if they’ll ask me to go again………..