I read something once in an article or a book, can’t remember which.
It was a woman writing about when she and her husband got married. Her husband was not verbally romantic. And when they married he told her he had something to tell her and he was only going to tell her once. He said: “I love you and if I ever change my mind I’ll let you know”.
The woman went on to write that they had a beautiful marriage. For whatever reason he could not verbalize what he felt. But in actions he spoke loudly. She told of his kindness, gentleness, and how she would never trade the way he was for a few words spoken the way she had expected them to be spoken. She learned that loving him, and he loving her, had it’s own language. The words were not the communication. The actions, and the devotion he showed her, were.
I always thought that was beautiful.
And I wonder at the language others use to communicate their love.
Some do use softly spoken words full of intimacy and romance.
Some use a mixture of this man’s actions, and the words as well.
Some use fighting. Odd as it seems, I’ve seen people who yell and cuss at one another, freely. And where it seems negative and harsh to others (me) , it is how they ‘talk’. And if it were suddenly to change it would feel so wrong to them.
I wonder about that couple. I bet it’s been up to thirty years ago that I read that. To my recollection it was a woman writing well in to her married years. Because he never had changed his mind. And she knew he loved her every day.
I wonder too, of others who read her words, do they think about her all these years later. Did anyone else read that and …. wish for that kind of love.
I know I did.
And now…I have something similar. Daily Husband asks me to marry him. And daily I tell him I would and will ‘every day’. He tells me I am his favorite and I respond ‘favorite what’ and he responds ‘every thing’. And though the words are welcomed and expected (!) every day….it is not what speaks loudest to me. It is his actions. Daily the things he does for me amaze me and make me wonder what ever did I do to deserve such devotion.
He apparently hasn’t changed his mind either.
And I wonder if my words, or my actions, speak as loudly to him.
I wouldn’t ever want him to doubt and wonder if I changed my mind.