One of the reasons I write on an almost daily basis is to focus on my every day life. I don’t want to get to the end of this life, a gift, and look back only to realize I missed out on it by wishing and hoping for something ‘better’ or ‘easier’ or ‘greater’ down the road. Today matters. And today with our hearts heavy and aching I am having a difficult time fulfilling my self driven goal to find the good every single day. How do we, at this time, find the joy without feeling guilt for experiencing joy?
I decided to try something.
It came to me when I was too lazy to go out for lunch. I didn’t even want to walk to my car to eat what I had packed. I had no desire to go out and buy a bagel at Tim Horton’s. I just wanted to play on the computer. I wasn’t even sure what to do. I think I wanted to be mindless. Without thought. Without worry.
I pulled up Facebook. There’s a mindless activity. I can just browse through pictures and the non-goings-ons of others on Facebook. But when I pulled up the blue and white page it occurred to me that there were an awful lot of people on there I loved. Their faces just glimpsing out at me in little winking portraits….some not even portraits of the person. But a picture that I knew related to someone I care for.
I looked at the time on the bottom of the page and decided to spend ten minutes there. Ten minutes saying “I love you.”
That was it. No smiley emoticons. No little hearts. No exclamations.
Just: I Love You.
I wrote “I Love You” on as many people’s pages as I could in ten minutes.
It felt incredible to notice that before I was even done with my ten minutes I was getting “likes” and love returned.
I didn’t want to do anything other than share my love. Let someone know I was thinking of them.
Let love take over.
And it did.
When I logged off of that blue and white page I realized something.
I did, indeed, feel better.
In our every day we so quickly make a complaint. Point a finger. Shake our heads. Acknowledge how crazy the world is. And by doing so we are doing exactly what we say we don’t want in our lives: we are encouraging the growth of negative. Bad. Nasty. Dare I even say it: evil.
I’m not a scientist. I can’t quantify anything. Not in scientific terms. I had to look up “empirical” to make sure I spelled it right. Though I don’t have the appropriate letters behind my name I do think I have some empirical proof (is that redundant?) that says when we plant love it grows. In ten minutes I told many people that I love them. That they are thought of. And for the rest of the afternoon I have been getting messages back that I am loved. And from that ten minutes I start to regain my focus. My heart still hurts. But I love. And love matters. We can’t let it just hang there waiting to be reclaimed. We need to plant it continuously. We need to nurture it. Cultivate it. We can’t ignore it. The more we put in to it and the more we put it out there the more it will spread.
I know this isn’t a new concept in the world. But it’s often over looked or ignored for it’s simplicity.
If I had sat at my desk for my lunch and done nothing but browse through pictures or people pinning things on boards that I don’t understand I would have felt no better than when I had begun my lunch. I would have done nothing productive. I would have encouraged no growth in the world.
I would have missed out on the joyful responses I received back from my love posts.
I would have smiled less and thought more darkly.
And I would have missed out on this:
A short time after my lunch was over I received a call from my daughter.
She said, very excitedly: where you at?
I said, wondering what was wrong with her: I’m at work. What?
She said: where you at? (Why is she talking like that?)
I said: what?
She said: WERE YOU HACKED?! WERE YOU HACKED?!
I said: what????
She said: on Facebook did you just tell like 8000 (she said eight thousand) people you love them.
I said: (laughing) maybe not 8000
She said: Well, like a lot? I thought you were hacked.
I said: No, I just wanted to say it.
She said: Oh, okay, as long as you weren’t hacked.
Later I checked my Facebook and she had written: LOL and i love you…..what do you need?
Just that. That is what I needed. It made me laugh and felt like a gift.