What Are You Scared Of?

You scared of me?  Huh?  Are ya?

I chuckle.

I am not a threat to anyone.

…..I hope.

Yesterday I reposted about Jamey Rodemeyer and much discussion about differences followed.

I have to come clean.

I am scared of differences.

Not threatened.  Usually.  But scared.

I don’t always know what the proper protocol is to engage in discussion.

Some people don’t want their differences pointed out.  Yet they make a point of being different.

Some seem to be different, glorify it and are open to any and all acknowledgement of it.  You don’t have to agree with them, like them, or even care.   They are secure, safe and strong in who they are.  They have a peaceful acceptance of themselves.   And you.  Me.  Anyone.

Some folks seem to try very hard to not be different about anything.  They want there to be a status quo.  They are comforted by static.  They want no differences.  They hope for no change.  They cannot accept, or even participate in, discussion about acceptance and differences.

I could go on.  For your sake, I will believe you get the picture I am trying to paint.  Our differences are immense.  And how we react to being different, as immense.  And how we react to other’s differences….

So.   I am scared of differences.

Because I am curious.

I am curious about why you are tattooed from head to toe.  I want to know what the tattoos mean.  If anything.  Maybe you just “like” them.   I am curious about the thinking process you go through to pick one out, get it, and cover your body.   I have tattoos.  I like tattoos.  You want to know why I have them?  What they mean?  Ask!  But I am sometimes afraid to ask others.  Sometimes I’m not.  If I am able to engage some people in conversation I do ask!

But some people do not encourage you to engage in conversation with them.

I am curious about relationships.   How did you meet?  Why do you like him?  Why do you like her?  What drives you insane about that person?    What makes you fill your life with this person?   I ask a lot of questions.   So many, in fact, that I often don’t give you a chance to fully answer.   Sorry about that.   I just want to know!

But some people are not open to you knowing about them.

What drives people to be passionate about their career?  Their hobbies?  Books?  Music?  Painting?  Red jelly beans?  Coffee?  Why do people fill their lives with a passion about some thing.   I am easily swayed in to thinking I need to try more.  My mom is trying to encourage me to take FlatFoot Dancing Lessons.   So I watched some videos.  Now I am convinced she is right.  Of course I have to do that.   And in looking in to that I find a world full of people who are passionate about it.   Look at them.   Watch their feet.  Watch how they go on and on.   You can see the passion in their feet.  In their faces.  I want to know when they started dancing.

Why do you shave your head?

Why do you color your hair?

What’s it like to be gay?

What’s it like to be Buddhist?

What’s it like to be Atheist?

What’s it like to be genius?

What’s it like to climb Mt. Everest?

What’s it like to be in a wheelchair?

What’s it like to be blind?

Why do you believe what you believe and why do you do what you do?

Why are you so confident?!?!??!   For real!  Please share this wisdom.

How do you become so gracious?

How do you exude such kindness?

How do you look in the mirror every day and not see the fear you instill in others?

Why do you hit your child?

Why do you take drugs?  What are you avoiding feeling?

I don’t want to know these things so that I may judge you.  I want to know these things so that I know.  I can’t promise I will understand.  I can’t promise you I will be fully comfortable.    But I can promise you I won’t hurt you because you are different.

Our differences don’t hurt us.

Our actions do.

I’m curious.

I am scared of differences.   Because I don’t want to offend.

But I do want to know.

What’s it like to be not me?

Only you can tell me.