Daily Archives: March 25, 2013

Don’t Hate Me For Asking….

Can I ask a question?

Of course I can.

I think what I really mean is, can I ask this question without offending anyone?  When the sole intention is actually to support those who may be offended?

Deep breath.

Here goes.

If “marriage” is defined as a union between “a” man and “a” woman, then why, if you are entering in to a union that is not “a” man and “a” woman, do you want that?

Whoa.

Hold on.

I agree we should all have the same rights.  Absolutely.

But if the world is so freaked out about changing a definition, why not create something better – for you.  And for many, many, others.

I don’t know who has the authority to make up words and then define them, and define them so that no entity ever can change that definition.   But personally, I am pretty sure that authority can just settle themselves down.  I, in regard to  that authority’s existence, defy you all the time.

I make up words to suit my purpose.  Why?  Because I need a word, and a definition, that works for me. 

And none of the previous word-making-up-definition-applying-authorities have made the words that I have needed.

So take that definition authorities!

I think those who do not fit in to that definition shouldn’t try fitting in to that definition.   They should come up with their own word, and their own definition.  And then put their powers to work to get the world to legally accept it, encompass it, and you know….even get jealous of it.

Who wouldn’t be jealous of something that is created, accepting, tolerant, and all encompassing?

I bet if someone can do this there will be an awful lot of married  people who are quick to want to jump the bonds of their marriage and join the forces of you.   You who love the idea of love.   You want your love to be as valid and as legal as mine.

So why not create a word to encompass what you already have.

Why not be forward thinking.

Instead of trying to fit in to a mold, why not create a mold.

If marriage is defined as that bond between “a” man and “a” woman and the world says you can’t have it because you aren’t those two very different things, there’s no shame in that.

I ask these things not because I don’t want you to have marriage.  I do.  But I see so many people fighting an unbending world.  And because so many don’t bend, they snap.   Whether I understand every single union between two consenting adults or not (I don’t!) I know I don’t have the right to tell someone their love is not as important, or as legal, as mine.

You don’t allow others to define love for you.

Why are you letting them define your relationship union?

Just as an aside but kindasorta similar.   Maybe not.  But it’s the closest comparison I could think of….   When I was in grade school there were a couple of kids that were bullies.  They said things to me.  On more than one occasion they literally pushed me around.   They tried to make me feel like crap.  And they succeeded.   I wanted the power I thought they had.  I wanted the authority they thought they had.   But I have to say, I never wanted to be like them.   I wanted to be stronger and authoritative within me.  For me.   It would have been nice if they had changed.  But there was nothing I could have done to change who they were and how they saw me.

So I grew up and built my own wonderful life.

I stopped worrying about them a very long time ago.

I know this goes much deeper than my very naive way of looking at this.  I know there is suffering and inequality for so many people.   Again, naively, I believe I can changes ‘things’ better than I can change people.   But in the process of creating better ‘things’ I always hope it looks wonderful to others and they like what I create.

I feel quite vulnerable putting this out there.  I know many people don’t “believe” in anything that is not already defined.  I know many will think I have over-simplified this.  In asking one another to accept our personal beliefs we should also be willing to accept those of old.  Those of new.  And those yet to be.  It does seem simple to me.

Deep breath…

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