My well established comfort zone does not include people I don’t know touching me. For that matter it doesn’t include some of the people I do know touching me. There’s always that don’t touch me comfort zone that is a safeguard from that which I do not trust.
Today I had a bit of an experience.
I walked in to a store to look for something to hang around my neck. Not a noose. But something to hang around my neck like a lanyard. I don’t normally walk in to a store and ask for something because I don’t want someone telling me what I want. I go in, look, don’t see and leave. Or see what I need, get it, go.
Today I walked in and the little shop was packed full of interesting things. I like things. Intriguing things. She was in there. I don’t remember what she said. But she spoke to me and I looked up. And there she was. Her hair was softly swept up, or back, or something. I know nothing about hair style so whatever it was, it was. And her face smiled at me. I can’t remember if she actually smiled. But her face was a smile. I told her I was looking for a lanyard instead of giving my usual smile and “no thanks I’m just looking”. She said she had a really cute one. I said something to the effect of “I don’t really do cute”. I was following her. She turned with her smiling face.
She reached out.
And her hand landed on my wrist. Patted.
A very comforting touch.
And she said “oh you can do cute and surprise everyone”.
What about that touch.
And that smiling face.
I can’t explain it. But I know what it was.
It was safe.
My comfort zone hasn’t changed.
My trust levels haven’t changed.
I just received confirmation though, to something I have always believed. Even when I didn’t trust anyone because I didn’t know what was safe to trust. But even when I didn’t know what was safe, or where safety was. I knew it existed. I knew because I saw others who were comfortable and safe and trusting. I knew it existed. And though I learned this, discovered this long before today-today I received validation. And a surprise validation.
She touched me.
It was safe.
And it was appreciated.
My well established comfort zone does have room for….her. And I learn even more trust exists.
She touched me. And it was okay.
I was okay.