My well established comfort zone does not include people I don’t know touching me. For that matter it doesn’t include some of the people I do know touching me. There’s always that don’t touch me comfort zone that is a safeguard from that which I do not trust.
Today I had a bit of an experience.
I walked in to a store to look for something to hang around my neck. Not a noose. But something to hang around my neck like a lanyard. I don’t normally walk in to a store and ask for something because I don’t want someone telling me what I want. I go in, look, don’t see and leave. Or see what I need, get it, go.
Today I walked in and the little shop was packed full of interesting things. I like things. Intriguing things. She was in there. I don’t remember what she said. But she spoke to me and I looked up. And there she was. Her hair was softly swept up, or back, or something. I know nothing about hair style so whatever it was, it was. And her face smiled at me. I can’t remember if she actually smiled. But her face was a smile. I told her I was looking for a lanyard instead of giving my usual smile and “no thanks I’m just looking”. She said she had a really cute one. I said something to the effect of “I don’t really do cute”. I was following her. She turned with her smiling face.
She reached out.
And her hand landed on my wrist. Patted.
Cool touch.
A very comforting touch.
And she said “oh you can do cute and surprise everyone”.
What about that touch.
And that smiling face.
Was different?
I can’t explain it. But I know what it was.
It was safe.
My comfort zone hasn’t changed.
My trust levels haven’t changed.
I just received confirmation though, to something I have always believed. Even when I didn’t trust anyone because I didn’t know what was safe to trust. But even when I didn’t know what was safe, or where safety was. I knew it existed. I knew because I saw others who were comfortable and safe and trusting. I knew it existed. And though I learned this, discovered this long before today-today I received validation. And a surprise validation.
She touched me.
It was safe.
And it was appreciated.
My well established comfort zone does have room for….her. And I learn even more trust exists.
She touched me. And it was okay.
I was okay.
You have such way with words, opening your story, layer by layer, like tissue paper in a gift box, tantalizing, teasing till you get to the bottom. I enjoy your writing, Colleen. I thank Paulette for pointing me here.
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Thank you so much!!!! And thank Paulette (LOVE HER) for connecting us. What a wonderful way for our worlds to expand. You are my favorite today! I am ending my already great day on a very happy note with your kind words. 🙂
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What a powerful experience 🙂
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🙂
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She was a very nice woman, and a great saleswoman.
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She was that as well. But so much so, I didn’t even notice.
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Nice! Very nice!
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🙂 Thanks Paulette.
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Great post! We live, we have experiences that shape us, then we live some more and have new experiences that reshape us even if just a tiny bit. I felt that touch through your words here.
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Wow! Thank you LittleMissWordy. I am so excited when I manage to put words together well enough that someone feels something. Thank you so much for saying that. And yes, I am constantly reshaping. It is wonderful!
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Nice one …. I learned many years ago that a touch say so much more than words, we was on a customer service course … and they had done tests with passengers checking in at airports … one girl talked very friendly with the customers and one didn’t say a word but slightly touched the passengers hand, smiled and looked them in their eyes when returning the boarding cards – everybody said that the girl that didn’t say a word was the most pleasant one. So glad that you had a positive experience today and that you didn’t feel uncomfortable when it happens. I’m personal a very touchy person …
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Isn’t that interesting. I do love eye contact and smiles and kind words. I like a mixture of the two interactions. Isn’t it interesting how we all act, and react, to different behaviors?
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I think sometimes we don’t notice when people … touch us in a flash … I don’t. I’m very happy that you had a fantastic experiance from it, maybe you are more open regarding close interaction.
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🙂 Me too.
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I guess we all change and grow. I think you are more in tune with yourself than most people though. The other day, I was talking to a stranger at my yard sale and something came up in the conversation and I told her I was shy. She looked at me and said, “You’re shy???” (apparently seeing as I had been yapping it up with everyone I didn’t come off as shy). I was painfully shy as a small child and have always considered myself shy but maybe I’m not anymore….maybe little things have occurred throughout my life that have made me a bit more outgoing and I just never realized it.
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I am more comfortable being shy. I ‘make’ myself be and do in social settings. But there is no comfort there. Maybe you are more outgoing, but find more comfort in the shy ways. ? Either way, you’re wonderful. 🙂
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I liked this blog post a lot. I wonder what it was about her ….
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It was something “safe”. And I can’t even say why…. Thank you. 🙂
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