I watched from inside as a young step daughter backed the tractor and trailer into the new car. I literally shrugged my shoulders. There was nothing I could to about it. Why get mad?
I walked in to my bathroom to find my children had mutinied against using their own bathroom and pirated mine. Leaving towels, clothes and a general mess. I got mad. Because they could have just picked up their mess and I would never have known.
I came home from work to see where the new puppy had destroyed the woodwork in the room he had stayed in during the day. I didn’t pay it any attention. There was nothing I could do about it.
I came in to the kitchen to find trash piling over the top of the trash can and scattered about the floor (on numerous occasions while raising children and husband). I got mad. Because all someone had to do was bag up the trash. And put a new bag in.
We busied about the kitchen getting ready for dinner and one of them dropped a glass. It shattered. She looked horrified as she glanced at me. I shrugged. We cleaned it up. No worries. It’s just a glass. Or the plate. Or the bowl. These things happen.
As often as not, the kids would fight. And yell. And carry on. And I would jump in the melee and get mad too. Well, until that one day when I was in the car and they were on the deck and I was waiting for them and they decided to start fighting and I just sat there and waited them out. I was too tired to get mad that day. I think it only stopped because they each thought they would get a good slap or kick in and I would stop it. And I didn’t. But normally, them getting mad, got me mad. Because they didn’t have to get mad. It’s what they decided to do….
The point of this was that there were things I didn’t bother getting mad about because I couldn’t do anything about what had already happened. But when I did get mad it was because others did have the opportunity to do things to change the outcome (me getting mad).
Perhaps this has backfired on me.
I suppose if they could have changed or controlled what they did….maybe I could as well.
And here I thought I was making perfect logic about my self righteousness.
I hate it when I out maneuver myself.