A Method To My Mad (Not Madness-Just Mad)

I watched from inside as a young step daughter backed the tractor and trailer into the new car.  I literally shrugged my shoulders.  There was nothing I could to about it.   Why get mad?

I walked in to my bathroom to find my children had mutinied against using their own bathroom and pirated mine.   Leaving towels, clothes and a general mess.  I got mad.  Because they could have just picked up their mess and I would never have known.

I came home from work to see where the new puppy had destroyed the woodwork in the room he had stayed in during the day.  I didn’t pay it any attention.  There was nothing I could do about it.

I came in to the kitchen to find trash piling over the top of the trash can and scattered about the floor (on numerous occasions while raising children and husband).  I got mad.  Because all someone had to do was bag up the trash.  And put a new bag in.

We busied about the kitchen getting ready for dinner and one of them dropped a glass.  It shattered.  She looked horrified as she glanced at me.  I shrugged.  We cleaned it up.  No worries.  It’s just a glass.  Or the plate.  Or the bowl.  These things happen.

As often as not, the kids would fight.  And yell.  And carry on.  And I would jump in the melee and get mad too.  Well, until that one day when I was in the car and they were on the deck and I was waiting for them and they decided to start fighting and I just sat there and waited them out.  I was too tired to get mad that day.   I think it only stopped because they each thought they would get a good slap or kick in and I would stop it.  And I didn’t.  But normally, them getting mad, got me mad.  Because they didn’t have to get mad.  It’s what they decided to do….

Oops.

Wait.

The point of this was that there were things I didn’t bother getting mad about because I couldn’t do anything about what had already happened.  But when I did get mad it was because  others did have the opportunity to do things to change the outcome (me getting mad).

Perhaps this has backfired on me.

I suppose if they could have changed or controlled what they did….maybe I could as well.

Crap.

And here I thought I was  making perfect logic about my self righteousness.

I hate it when I out maneuver myself.

29 thoughts on “A Method To My Mad (Not Madness-Just Mad)

  1. lol this post relates in a way to my own think for the day
    I was rather thinking about cleaning my side of the street while I had to watch others not do theirs AND dump more sheet for me to clean onto mine. sigh

    If only I stood there growling with my shovel raised in a menacing manner, things would stay clean, uhm but then I’d have to feel icky. There has to be a better way. I really dislike the if onlies, sometimes they are awfully justifiable.

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  2. This is a gold mine!! If only others would take the time to realize that their actions cause reactions and our reactions are caused by actions, but they are not always justified. We all have to learn to step back a bit and then react in those instances! Great insight

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  3. Mad is an emotion in me that comes when I least expect it. Maybe not mad but angry. My mom was a person that always hollered when we were young and I made up my mind I wasn’t going to be like that. Well I tried anyway and then one day Hungarian Work Horse said to me ———–Honey don’t get mad get even. I know both are a waste of good energy.

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    • Oh wasted energy and “mad” go hand in hand for me. Now, I don’t mad at others nearly as much as I get mad at myself. I have tons of patience for others….mostly grandkids 😉 and very little for myself. 🙂

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  4. I try to channel my angry into my music or something where I can just get it out. Any outlet that will work helps. The only thing I cannot do it through is lyrics, for some reason I just cannot organize them properly or it takes me forever to re-write them to where I am happy.

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  5. I’m better at checking my ‘mad’ now than when I was younger. My grandkids fight and I ignore them now. The rascals watch to see what I’ll do. Sometime I wonder if they’re putting on a show, but I walk out of the room anyway.

    When I’m driving, that’s when I get mad, but am able to keep my emotions at a low simmer.

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    • Oh my….the ‘mad’ driving. I do that as well. But I am quite ridiculous about it because I may be steaming (and cussing) in the car but am smiles to anyone looking. I don’t want to be freaking out at a driver who is ready to snap. 😉

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  6. Colleen, There I was following you word for word, understanding where you head was, and how you were getting to your point. And I was with you each step of the way, then you stepped over the edge of the cliff, and when in a direction I was prepared for, does this mean I should be mad you, or should I be mad at me for not anticipating you move? Anyway it goes what a great read. Take care and have a wonderful weekend. — Bill

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    • 🙂 Thank you Bill! You should be mad at me because I lured you in….and plunk! Dropped you off of that cliff. 😉

      The funny thing is…I truly did start out writing that to say I had a clear understanding of why I got mad. That I would get mad about things people could control and chose not to. But things that happened and couldn’t be helped, wasn’t worth getting mad over….

      I think I should be mad at me because I stepped off of that cliff before I led you there!!! 🙂

      Happy weekend to you as well Bill.

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  7. I know exactly what you mean! I’ve never got angry about spilled milk. I could care less about that kind of stuff. But you know what really chaps my hide. When I tell the kids to stop doing something because they’ll get hurt….and then of course they keep doing it and get hurt. They come to me wanting sympathy and all I can do is give them a half-hearted hug and tell them, “well, I told you to quit jumping on the bed.”

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  8. Love your final line – you’re so funny 🙂

    I was thinking at the beginning of the post ‘WHAT has happened to Colleen? She’s so calm…. I couldn’t be so calm!!’

    I bet things were smoother without your blood temperature going high at everything that went down. I love how you sat in the car & waited for the kids to fight it out on the porch 🙂 You seem like a Buddhist, this day.

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    • 🙂 There are some things I write/say that I just KNOW you will enjoy.

      Buddhist or VTP (very tired parent) who is tired of the ridiculous fighting. They were both a bit shocked that day. They still bring it up. 🙂

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