It will happen. Those moments in Momdom where all is rewarded. Life is made right. And as a Mom you are redeemed. I’m sure this happens in Daddom as well, but I’ve no experience living there. Dads will have to confirm or deny if they understand this. All of our questionable parenting moments, our parenting faux pas, all of our take a shot in the dark parenting decisions, every horrific home done hair cut…..
By what was done right.
The faux pas turn in to legendary stories.
The things you have done right turn you in to the parent they hope to be.
The first thing to happen that signifies their childhood has officially turned into ‘adulthood’….. And mind you there is no set age for this occurrence. The age range could be a very mature and wise 16 year old or a 43 year old ‘adult’.
1. They say they are sorry. It will happen. At some point one child will utter words you never expected. “Mom, I’m sorry for all of the grief I’ve ever given you.” Some may be overly dramatic (they think) by throwing in an “I don’t know how you kept from throttling me”. Some may be ever so emotional and feel they owe you tremendously for all you put up with from them.
2. They admit you know something. This can feel like one of those back handed compliments. But when it sounds like this “mom I can’t believe you know that at your age” it’s probably more of a turning point in their perceptions. They don’t know how to handle this realization and it just comes out all wrong. And they start to get that wide eyed look when you say something that registers as “smart” or dare I say “brilliant”. When they first start to see and hear your wisdom for the truth that it is they may appear dazed or startled. It’s okay. They’ll get used to it. And soon enough….start to ask for advice. You should probably practice your reaction to this. You don’t want to appear too needy or grateful for this. It could set things back a few years. Be careful.
3. They look forward to spending time with you. Again, do not, I repeat, do not over react to this. It might scare them. And you may think it seems like a regression to when they were two and you were not allowed to leave their sight. Another caution….they may be very surprised if you do not want to spend every spare second with them. Well, as any parent knows, it’s not that you don’t want to. It’s that you still have to work, sleep and do yard work. If you are super lucky they will come over and work in the yard along with you just to have time with you. Do your cardio work out to keep your heart healthy. And eat your Cheerios (I hear they are really good for your heart). This one may need you to put a little extra effort in to your health regiment. Be ready.
4. I wish I knew what to do like you always did. Truth is the best thing in life. I have no problem saying I was clueless. I just tried to do what I thought was best. It helps them know that you weren’t always as perfect as they will start to believe you are. And they will. They will begin to understand and know without a doubt how much you love them.
And when it happens….
When your children say thank you, hey wanna do something with me today, and I opened my mouth to talk to the kids and you came out-and you were right!
When it happens….
Crap. It means we’re old enough for them to be old enough to respect and admire us.
5. They start wondering if we aren’t too old to be acting the way we act. We know we aren’t too old. We are perfectly aged. And enjoying life because we have learned so many of the lessons that our children can’t learn from us telling them about it. They must learn on their own. And they realize it.
When all of these things happen-
It is good.
It is very, very good.