While My Wife Went To Work Every Day….

This post was ghost written for Husband.

While my wife went to work every day.

And cut the grass.

And took out the trash.

And slept on the basement floor because a derecho did not destroy the house.

And took care of the cattle and the crops.

(That last line may be an exaggeration.)

I went on vacation.

And made her stay home.

Because I am pretty sure she would not have enjoyed this trip with my college buddies.

What would there have been in it that she would enjoy?

Did I mention it was a bicycling trip?

Like 800 miles of nothing but biking and more biking?

She wouldn't have enjoyed the meals.

She wouldn’t have enjoyed the meals.

Or the desserts.

Or the desserts.

The views were varied but pretty much...yeah.

The views were varied but pretty much…yeah.

Water ways.

Water ways.

Gnarly trees.

Gnarly trees.

Crazy Rivers.

Crazy Rivers.

Who wants to see water rushing over rocks?

Who wants to see water rushing over rocks?

Or ride their bikes through awesome tunnels?

Or ride their bikes through awesome tunnels?

Or time travel to a different time in our country.  History shmistory.

Or time travel to a different time in our country. History shmistory.

If I know my wife I am pretty sure she wouldn't want to see gods on a rock.

If I know my wife I am pretty sure she wouldn’t want to see gods on a rock.

She may have wanted to visit here.

She may have wanted to visit here.

And pay her respects here.

And pay her respects here.

But she isn't much for night life.

But she isn’t much for night life.

And who wants boardwalk bike paths through mountains as a vacation?

And who wants boardwalk bike paths through mountains as a vacation?

My long running motto “a bad day on the bike is better than a good day at the office” was proven every single day when I called her and complained about the mud, the rain, the slow going six mile an hour drudgery or other mundane insanities that I came up with while on vacation and she was at work.   Because  E.V.E.R.Y. single time I complained to her about something silly she would say in her best dead pan –  “I’m at work”.    Because, well, she was.   And I was on a biking odyssey.    I should point out that  any complaint I shared I managed to do so while she was at work.  Lesson learned.

But I’m pretty sure I saved her from a miserable experience by letting her go to work every day instead.

I hope I can convince her of this.

Any help would be appreciated.

45 thoughts on “While My Wife Went To Work Every Day….

  1. Brilliant and funny – I’m sure Colleen, you maybe was better of at home .. after all.
    800 miles on bike that is a fair distance, even if sure that you would have manage that more than “fine”. At work is good place to be too. Brilliant post.

    Like

  2. I totally wouldn’t enjoy that dessert either. I mean, look at the giant cookies, the whipped/ice cream (whichever it is), and the syrup. Yup, even with chocolate dredged all over it I totally wouldn’t enjoy it. Couldn’t be bothered with it! Anyone with a sweet tooth would totally pass that up. A sweet dessert? Who has the time for that when you are complete sweet-o-holic? Complete willpower over that awesomely, drool inducing looking dessert like that, I could totally resist the urge!

    (Let me know if I am laying the sarcasm/humor on a little too thick and I will recant.)

    🙂

    Like

      • I was going to lay it on a bit heavier, but not sure if it would end up being too long or too gregarious. Maybe go all out ala George Carlin, but cleaner and geared towards food.

        You know? That gnarly tree totally wouldn’t make a good reading/napping spot whatsoever either! I mean look at it! Look at that! A complete bookworm would totally be uncomfortable, sitting there, enjoying a cool breeze on a sunny day, with a good book, or maybe enjoying a good snooze. Hell! Could be a totally horrible spot to camp there! Sleeping! Under the stars! With maybe an open-top tent! Psssshhhaawww! Who has time for that either? I could totally not enjoy reading or sleeping under that tree! I think it would be uncomfortable to do both in one day/night. Even making a warm campfire would be way too labor inducing for anyone to enjoy that spot!

        Too much?

        😀

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  3. You always make me laugh, Colleen! Poor husband. I suppose someone has to have fun.

    Speaking of fun trips, Sara and I have finally moved into our house in Ecuador, and furniture arrived over the weekend. Now we have something to sit on! Maybe that means I can write, and you BOTH can come visit!

    Hugs,
    Kathy

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    • 🙂 WELCOME BACK! (though I know you are still in Ecuador). I am glad you have moved and have furniture! What does it look like????

      Oh boy! BOTH of us visit. Wouldn’t we have a great time? Ah…..we are still trying to carve out a few days just to go do something we can get to quickly.

      By the way how long does it take to fly there???? We need to start considering these things.

      I’m glad you laughed. He woke up this morning. Went back to bed. JOined me for lunch…..during my lunch break from WORK. I came home after work, dirty dishes in the sink….the bed not made…..I dead panned “when I lived alone the house didn’t look like this”. 😉

      HELLO MRS SARA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Like

    • Exactly Tess!!!! He would go on about something or other. I would just wait him out. He got no sympathy. Just an “I’m at work” comment and he would quickly recognize he was having a blast! 🙂

      Like

  4. “This post was ghost written for Husband.”……………………… Pffft! lol And let me remind you, Chatter Master… You should NOT be in a “Should Be” mode while Husband TOILS for you ALL the time. 🙂

    Like

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