I wrote this when I was a teenager:
I’m not perfect
I never claimed to be
But
That doesn’t stop me
From letting others think I am.
Quite cheeky of me, yes?
No worries. I am so not perfect and there is absolutely no one who thinks I am.
But I still find myself loved and able to love. I’m so amazed when I look around the corners, nooks and crannies of my life and find people who accept me for who I am. People who recognize my faults often times more than I do. Or quicker than I do. And they still tolerate me.
There are people in my life that I personally know, and people who I have come across in my daily work life and daily adventures who don’t understand. They believe themselves unloved, unlovable.
Love is not based on perfection.
Love is not based on expectations.
Love is not granted.
It just is.
If I could get one person in my life to understand one thing about themselves…
It is…
You are loved.
You will disappoint people who love you.
You will hurt people who love you.
You will abandon people who love you.
And yet they will still love. You.
I have disappointed. Hurt. Abandoned.
I have been hurt. Disappointed. Abandoned.
You are still loved.
I am still loved.
I still love.
Your faults will not make me stop loving you. Why do they stop you from loving you?
+
We aren’t perfect.
We don’t need to be.
Love is not earned.
Or granted.
It is.
And we are.
Love.
I disagree. You are perfect. You are the perfect friend. You often have the perfect advice. Nobody is perfect all the time. We just have our moments.
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Maybe I should retitle this to No One Thinks I’m Perfect But Jason!!!!!!! 🙂 Your comment made my day. Thanks Jason. 🙂
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Are any of the people you love perfect?
I don’t know one person who is yet I still love many. I would think this is true across the planet.
I don’t feel guilty expecting the same treatment in return. I ain’t perfect but my loved ones won’t hold that against me (I hope!) x
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😉 Well I don’t think I know a single perfect soul. But I know many who I love perfectly fine the way they are. And I’m with you, apparently my loved ones don’t hold my faults against me. 😉
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What? I’m not perfect?
Seriously, this is profound, Colleen. You were a wise teenager and an even wiser–not to mention lovable, loving, and loved–adult!
Hugs from Ecuador,
Kathy
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Aw Kathy, you make me blush. I don’t know how wise I am….but if you insist I will start to believe it. 😉 Hugs to you in Ecuador, and save one for Sara!
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Great post, Colleen!
Perfection is an imperfect ideal, but true love is a constant.
To truly love someone, is to love them warts and all. I agree with many other posters here, Who say; you were obviously a very wise and observant teenager!
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You say this so well Cliff! And thank you but I am not so sure how wise I was. Though again, if you all keep insisting…I may have to go with what I first wrote and not stop others from letting you think I am. 😉
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Sometimes it is better to accept as true, that which is self evident.
If I possessed the ability to roll back the calender to my teen years, I would probably be comparing the relative strengths and weaknesses of the various editions of Pac Man or espousing on which comic book superhero possessed the best super powers. One thing you can be sure of, I would not be in your league in terms of grasping the intricacies of the human psyche, love or imperfections there of.
Heck, back then, all the crazy teens I hung around with, all thought they were immortal, or destined for greatness. so the outrageous notion of any one of us being less than perfect was preposterous. Girls, naturally mature much faster, emotionally, but most of the ladies I knew back then were more into fashion, boys and teen idols.
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Cliff, you are my favorite today! And I’m not even in to my day one hour yet!
I will admit the fashion sense or concern skipped me entirely. Teen idols as well. Boys….well, they did catch my eye! 😉
Thanks for this comment. It has made me contemplate my teenage self. I do remember being very reflective and I wrote an awful lot back then as well. Though on review of it, I would not share it all now! 🙂
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Always glad to help! 🙂
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Good man! 🙂
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Really lovely Colleen.
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Thank you very much Yaz. 🙂
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I “joke”around with folks in regards to perfection. I find it rather boring and passe, where’s the excitement and passion, the zest for discovery in perfection? I could go on and on about perfection, but I have a long bike ride home this evening … Do I take the perfectly flat and “boring road home or do I take the more exciting side road instead? 😉
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Take the exciting road! 🙂
And perfection can be tedious and oh so boring. Truth in that Cultfit! Great point!
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Colleen, who really want to be perfect – how boring …. I would hate it – can you imaging have to live up to that *smile
It’s what we are that makes us be loved … or not liked.
To agree to disagree … I sometime think love should be earned, because we can’t love everybody we met on our path … I don’t want to love them or hate them .. I prefer to like them, but my love people have to earn in some way.
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Oh Viveka, I can’t imagine trying to live up to “perfect”. I can’t even maintain “okay” on a regular and steady basis!
I hear what you mean about people earning love. But there are some, in my experience anyway, that love is automatic. It’s there. Doesn’t mean there is respect or appreciation…but love. Like children. Siblings. Etc. I can’t ‘not love’ because of disappointments.
Other relationships, yes, I can see the ‘earn love’.
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Colleen, I think there is a lot of earning love when it’s about a relastionship. Hard work at times.
I don’t think that everybody because they are close family is loving each other, but I don’t think that that love can be earned neither, in that case.
I think love can come and goes inside a family too … between parents and children …. brother and sisters.
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Good one, poopsie pie. Lotta good more loving. 😉 And, hey, if anyone told me they were prefect, I’d know they were deluded. What the hell is perfection anyway?
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I read this at break at work. I burst out laughing. Joyfully. I don’t think I’ve ever been called “poopsie pie”. I think I liked it! 😉
And I don’t have a clue what perfection is. I haven’t stumbled upon it yet! 😉
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Haha. Since we’re talking about imperfection and you make me feel safe to communicate I just let out the pp (poopsie pie). My dad used to call me poopsie this and poopsie that, affectionately. It just slpped from my mouth to hands for you… Glad it made you laugh. You bring a lotta joy to me as well.
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I just read that again and chuckled again. Say it out loud. Poopsie Pie. How can that not be a happy sound? I am honored you felt safe enough to call me that.
I hope your dad is chuckling with us. 😉
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I’m not perfect
I never claimed to be
But
That doesn’t stop me
From trying to be
Working to be better is a worthwhile goal for all.
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It is truly a great goal. To strive to be better. I don’t know where perfection can be found. But I’m okay with always improving.
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You said something in here that hit me really hard. I really need to chew on it. “Love is not perfection.” I was taught the opposite. Until I read this, I didn’t realize it may be something I believe, something I want to stop believing. Thank you for this Chatems.
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You are very welcome Huck. I think you have been working on not believing this. And I think you know that love is, it is. And it feels wonderful. And I am so glad to know that you feel this now in your life. 🙂
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Thank you! You make such a difference too.
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We seem to be in sync. No, not the band. 😉
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ahaha the band too funny, thankfully not the band!
I guess we are!
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Agree. Agree. Agree. Also, I love that you wrote that when you were a teenager! It sounds like something a wise philosopher would write!
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Okay I’m starting to think maybe I am wise…….. 😉
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Thinking positive is a good thing. Maybe it makes us as perfect as we are ever going to be…trying to be the best we can, not for anyone else, but for ourselves.
This is another stupendous post, Colleen. You are awesome.
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Tess, thank you so much.
I do think we have to learn to answer to ourselves. Strive, yes. But also put things in to perspective on what can be done, should be done, and what matters.
Again, thank you.
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Colleen, Yes love is love, it is so different and yet sometime so the same. As one of those that is far from perfect, I think it is easier to see perfection, it no easier to be, but again to see. Love take many forms, it has many strenghts and some weaknesses. But the one thing that I have found over the years is that Love is always given freely, and once you love something or someone, it really is almost impossible to stop loving it or them, no matter what they do to you. — Take care, Bill
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I think I agree. Love, true and absolute pure love, is given freely. And it would take something I can’t imagine to stop that love.
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I never claimed to be perfect either, oh I did not.
Like this very much, but what sticks with me most is when you say ‘love is not based on perfect’. That’s a redeemer, that.
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It must be truth Noeleen. Or none of us would know it. 🙂
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