Where You Stand

You stand in a crowded room.

You stand alone.

Surrounded but utterly alone.

In a moment.

 Unsure.  Abandoned.  Numb.

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You stand in a place.

In a moment.

Stopped by overwhelming grief.  Pain that you can’t describe.

Where I am-you wonder.

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You stand somewhere-looking.

Wondering why.  How does life exist without me there.

You look.  And look.  Wanting desperately to find me.

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You stand somewhere-and remember.

You laugh at a memory- and you stop-laughing.  How can there be joy?

Your head drops at new and fresh pain.

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You stand another day.  A fresh day.

A smile feels good.  The sun is brighter than your darkness.

You stop looking for me.

Because you know I’m there.

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And you realize.

You will be okay.

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I have stood where you stand now.

These things are true.

And.

I love you.

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I wrote this for a very specific reason and for very specific people.  I wrote it on reflection of ‘grief’.   And though grief is so very difficult, I would not want the grief I have experienced to be taken away, nor would I want to be told it was time to move on.   Grief is so very personal.  Between me and my loss.  And it can’t be defined by anyone.  And my grief is part of my love for what was lost.    And we grieve so many different things.

32 thoughts on “Where You Stand

  1. Colleen, So many try to hide from their grief, so many want to find fault in their grief, your definition, your need to express, your words are what you need to get thru it all. Yes each of us is different, and we each handle it as best we can. Your words have meaning and convey your emotions. Please take care, Bill

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  2. So true Colleen. Grief is so personal from my experience. I tried to run from it and finally when I walked up to it and experienced it fully I could go through it but it really never goes away and can rear at some of the most unexpected times. I hope who ever needs this reads it and finds it helpful.

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    • I think you’re right. It never goes away. I think in ways it is that we learn to cope better. And sometimes when our coping mechanisms are low, or temporarily out of order, we may have more difficult times. Thank you.

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  3. So lovely, Colleen. The thing about grief that gets me sometimes is how it is both intensely private and individual and at the same time universal. Each person’s grief is their own. It’s singular. But we all have our very own, very singular losses.
    Hugs from Ecuador,
    Kathy

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    • Thank you Kathy. It is amazing, isn’t it? Something that we all deal with and yet for the billions of times it has been experienced, it is very personal, and very unique each and every time.

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  4. Indeed, grief is a very difficult emotion… A very personal one. Most of the time, I associate grief with the passing of someone dear to me… But grief can arise from selling your home, loss of your health or of others, or even loss of your job.

    But nobody can tell “it” to move on. You have to somehow mush it out of the way on your own terms… But lamenting for too long a time is unhealthy as well.

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