At Least One Million

What kind of friend am I?

I don’t know for sure.

But I think if friends are ‘rated’ or earn bonus points for certain things…I’ve earned a few bonus points.  At least today.

I thought she was kidding when she sent me the message asking me to go pick up something for her.

She was not.

So I find myself standing in the “special room” of the local ‘Beds and Stuff’ store.

On my cell phone.

Trying to tell her what I see so I can figure out what it is I have to buy for her.

She’s throwing a bachelorette party and she quote forgot unquote to get some things.

So I have to go in and read out loud to her what I am seeing.

Can I say “penis”?   Yes.

Do I want to, in a store, with the young couple looking at glass penis’ together?  Or the salesman who stuck his head in the doorway to see if I was finding what I needed?   Or when the older fella came in and I wasn’t sure what he was looking for?  Or in front of the young girl buying party favors for a party she appeared to be throwing (I assume that is what she needed all of those items for)?

The answer is no, I don’t want to.

But I did.

And I said “pecker” and “boobie” and a couple of other words.

I don’t think it lessens my value as a friend when I told her I hated her.   She knows I don’t.  But it was appropriate to say while standing in the store saying “penis” out loud to anyone within shouting distance.

Not only did I say ‘penis’ way too many times today, now I have written it more times than my entire days prior to today.

I was also blessed with visions that I did not need to see.   Let alone have burned in to my memory banks.

I don’t know what kind of friend I am.  But I truly did earn some bonus points today.

*As a bonus Husband let me know after we left the store that I was using my “talking to an older person” voice.  Nice.