What kind of friend am I?
I don’t know for sure.
But I think if friends are ‘rated’ or earn bonus points for certain things…I’ve earned a few bonus points. At least today.
I thought she was kidding when she sent me the message asking me to go pick up something for her.
She was not.
So I find myself standing in the “special room” of the local ‘Beds and Stuff’ store.
On my cell phone.
Trying to tell her what I see so I can figure out what it is I have to buy for her.
She’s throwing a bachelorette party and she quote forgot unquote to get some things.
So I have to go in and read out loud to her what I am seeing.
Can I say “penis”? Yes.
Do I want to, in a store, with the young couple looking at glass penis’ together? Or the salesman who stuck his head in the doorway to see if I was finding what I needed? Or when the older fella came in and I wasn’t sure what he was looking for? Or in front of the young girl buying party favors for a party she appeared to be throwing (I assume that is what she needed all of those items for)?
The answer is no, I don’t want to.
But I did.
And I said “pecker” and “boobie” and a couple of other words.
I don’t think it lessens my value as a friend when I told her I hated her. She knows I don’t. But it was appropriate to say while standing in the store saying “penis” out loud to anyone within shouting distance.
Not only did I say ‘penis’ way too many times today, now I have written it more times than my entire days prior to today.
I was also blessed with visions that I did not need to see. Let alone have burned in to my memory banks.
I don’t know what kind of friend I am. But I truly did earn some bonus points today.
*As a bonus Husband let me know after we left the store that I was using my “talking to an older person” voice. Nice.
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