I like the way my brain works. Even if it has no basis in fact, or correctness. Or reality.
Sometimes, admittedly, I tell myself things to be able to get through the day. The moment. The reality of what is.
Right now I believe that while a man lies unconnected to us, he is connected to some one, some where, else. I believe he is in conversation with beings we cannot see and cannot hear.
And his conversation is focusing on where he is right now, and where he goes from here.
Does he come back here and face the untold and unknown road of hard, harder than we know, work to recover.
Or does he say goodbye to us here to join those he is in conversation with.
I believe it is his choice.
And I believe he has not yet made that choice. That’s why he’s not fully gone. And he’s not fully here.
In my belief system there is room for everyone’s beliefs. I certainly don’t expect others to agree with me or even understand me. But I do believe. I believe that when we are here and unable to communicate with those who are waiting for us, conversations are still being held. In the mind, in another realm, in another existence all together.
I believe that when a baby smiles in their sleep it is because angels are talking to them.
I believe when we ask angels to surround those we love and protect them, guard them, or just talk to them…that angels do that.
I believe when we are not fully here, we are somewhere else, making a decision. And it’s not easy. Come back here where others are praying for you and watching over you. Maybe not even having known there was this much love possible here. Or go home, to where there is no pain and no suffering. But there are others here….still calling out to you.
These things give me comfort. And I believe in them.
When we mere mortals are handed the responsibility of not being able to do anything but love someone we are often times being handed a situation we are not equipped for. The ‘do nothing’ situations are not a norm. This period that I have come to know as Living Grief is not something we deal well with. We cannot grieve the loss of our loved one because he is here. We cannot predict what it is we can do to help him because we don’t know what the outcome will be.
We are grieving the life in suspension.
We don’t know what to do when we can do nothing.
I’m well aware that the belief’s I have may be something that I have created to be able to deal with my humanity and our mortality.
And I’m fine with that.