Lumpy

Years ago I was pretty lumpy.

I got up early every morning to have breakfast with the husband and send him off to his early hours at work.   I would lay on the couch to nap or watch tv until I got up to have breakfast with the kids and then get them off to school.  I would clean the house every day, because I was there, and wanted it clean.  I would start or plan dinner.  And then sit on the couch.

And wait.

I was a lump on the couch.

I was a clean lump, in a clean house, but a lump is a lump.

I don’t know what I expected.  But I sat there and waited.  I would watch TV, or listen to the radio.  I would get quite frustrated.    I did my mom stuff, I did my wife stuff.  I’m proud of the songs I sang for my kids, the prayers I said, the talks we had, the dinners we had daily as a family.   All very important things.  But the kids were growing up.  They were out in the world more than I was.

I truly expected life and excitement to find me.   I did what I did for those I loved.  And waited for the stuff for me, to just happen.

I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t working.

I turned in to a Lumpy because all I did was sit like a lump.

So that’s what I got.   Lumpiness.

I’ve discovered through my being a Lumpy, and all of the things I’ve been since then, that you are what you do.

When I sat like a lump.

I was a lump.

When I went to school,  I was a student.

When I wrote, I was a writer.

When I worked, I had a career.

When I rode my bike, I was a biker.

When I practiced martial arts, I became a ninja !

When I realized what acting lumpy got me, I got off of that couch, I left Lumpy behind.

Lumpy didn’t mind at all.