31 thoughts on “It’s Just As Difficult To Give As To Receive

    • Sometimes I completely understand why this is so difficult. Other times I don’t understand why we make these things so difficult for ourselves. I hope everyone in your world is still improving and doing better every day.

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  1. Sometimes I would feel like ripping my tongue out sooner than admit I was wrong and say sorry to my husband, especially if I had been so sure I was right. To people I know less I don’t find it so difficult. I’m not sure why. My husband is mildly amused by my stubbornness.

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  2. I have ideas about amends. They are not the same as a flung about nor a mumbled I’m sorry. Empty words are empty words. I’m sorry, to me requires some corrective action AND a supreme effort to keep the situation from ever occurring again. There are still times when I locate a new defect in my character or a particularly entrenched one, that the only thing left to do is to say: “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to fix it, but I’d like you to know that I’ve noticed it. I’m working on it but I will probably do it again, until I get it all worked out. I’ll work on speaking up before I get to this point again.”

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  3. Colleen, I like Elisa’s comment above, and she touched on something near and dear to me. Is the emptyness and shallowness I sometimes hear when “I’m Sorry and Thank You” are said. No meaning nothing from the heart just the words (if you get them at all) Her last sentence works so well for me. Take care, Bill

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    • I realize now that I neglected to state that while I spoke of my preferences in making amends and what helps me to feel them coming toward me. I have expectations of others, many of which have NO idea that I do not perceive the ‘sorry’ without the corrective action connected with it AND an action that I can notice. I took the time(and I still must do it to refresh me on the issue) to seek out large number studies of how people take action, how far will they go and to learn to understand–kicking and screaming, that other levels of doing and accounting, while less-than in my own eyes, are nothing of the sort in the expression of others. I’m glad that what is sometimes very hard work, is sometimes now effortless. The sometimes being capitalized and glared at as not enough lol. I can be really productive within myself OR rip me to shreads. I dislike stating that I might not be the most gracious at accepting my own sorry to myself.

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      • Elisa I agree, an apology is an action not just words. My thoughts were simple this morning and it just struck me that sometimes saying I’m sorry is so difficult, and maybe because it is so difficult to make the change. To take that action. And on the flip side of that….maybe part of that is why it’s so difficult to accept. Accepting an apology you expect there to be action…. a change, and it’s occurred before where action didn’t come with the words.

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  4. At school our principal will often make the student say they’re sorry to the teacher and they wont due it again. To me this is a total waste of time and only reinforces to the student that the behavior can continue as long as they make a meaningless “I’m sorry”. I tell them don’t tell me, show me. Oh and these are teenagers I’m dealing with.

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