Thank You-For Believing Me

As a follow up to my last post I wanted to say thank you to all of you who read, commented, shared, and believe in the sanctity of childhood.

I try to stay focused on positive and uplifting.   But I realize that is not always possible.

I recognize(d) a few things when dealing with, learning about, and talking about abuse and healing.

1.  Things that are too ugly to look at are the very things we need to not only look at.  But stare down.  Dissect and destroy.

2.  There are some things that can appear beautiful but have ugly and hidden layers unseen.

3.  Most important.   The very basic goodness, decency and truth of the majority of human beings cannot be destroyed.  We just don’t talk about it or rave about it as much as we should.

I was abused as a child.  I didn’t tell a soul.   It happens.  I don’t really care if there are people who don’t believe me.  But I will be honest and say I have never had that experience.    And not for one minute do I blame the people who I didn’t tell.   Who I blame….is who did it.    I do believe the course of my life was forever changed because of it.  I recognize how I developed, why I do the things I do, why I react the way I react to things.   I know that through out my life I have made decisions based on what I could deal with in the way that I could deal with it.

Through this journey of my life I have seen the ugly.  I have seen false beauty.  I have known fear.   I have cowered in the dark of night.   And I have cowered in the light of day.

But I live.

And I live well.

I have said and will say forever:  what was done to me is not who I am.

Because above all-above everything bad I have ever seen-

I believe in the human spirit.  I believe that the world is full of compassionate and loving people.   I believe I am better than any ugly act any one ever inflicted on me.

I thank you.  For being part of this world of compassionate and loving people.  And I thank you.  For making me laugh.  Making me think.   For sharing who you are.  And accepting who I am.

And I thank you.

For believing me.

33 thoughts on “Thank You-For Believing Me

    • Thank you Bill. It’s funny, but from where I sit it doesn’t feel like courage. Sometimes it feels like determination, or stubbornness, or even luck. But looking back I think I had more courage as a kid when I opened my eyes every day and started another day. I thank you much Bill.

      Like

      • Colleen, trust me you have couragr. Your courage was the counterstone for your surival years ago and continues to serve as you speak out today. As you take your position, as you share your words and thoughts, your point of view. It takes a great deal of courage to be out there and doing more than paying lip service. Take care my friend. Bill

        Like

    • Thank you Mind Margins. It feels great to speak and feel free from guilt/shame/loathing. I left that stuff long ago. So when someone does speak out it’s so sad that people don’t want to believe it, so they tear apart the speaker. Let the truth be found, and heard. People may not want to listen, but it needs heard. And being believed is a huge help in feeling like YOU are valued. I was very lucky.

      Like

  1. It is hard to speak out and for people not to believe you. In time we have won, but it is hard not to remember those days when you screamed and others ignored you. Thankfully over time they listened and believed. Pity it took so long. I am glad you were believed, that in itself is healing.

    Like

    • It is healing, you are so right.

      I have to say that I personally did not scream out loud. I never said a word. And I actually remember my reasons why I didn’t. We know they are monsters. And children are easily manipulated. I wrote something once, I wish I had it on file, I would send it to you to read. But it is a few hundred pages!!!! If I ever do, I will send it to you. So many don’t speak out because they ‘think’ (or maybe even know) they won’t be believed. 😦

      Like

    • Thank you 1jaded1, for the hug. And the belief. And for seeing me as beautiful. What wonderful gifts you just gave me. Please don’t feel sad about this. Not now. I am well. I am happy. And I am not what was done to me. I am who I choose to be. So all faults and glories both, go to me. 😉

      Thank you.

      Like

  2. For what you have experienced in your life, to turn the other cheek and accept others so readily, means you are strong of character and belief. I am sorry that people treated you unkindly, but I am happy that you have fought your way through it and come out the other side, full of hope. Hugs Colleen x

    Like

    • Thank you Rambling Jen. 🙂 I have exactly that-hope. I feel very, very lucky Jen. It seems like everything came to me just as I needed it. To learn and to process and to take control of me. To own me. And to not let anything else decide who I was. Truly lucky.

      Like

  3. You are such a strong, beautiful, inspirational soul. As someone who was also abused as a child your words and your courage speak to me magnificently – you are right, and there is always hope!

    Like

    • Thank you Thomas. I admire your courage. You have found hope and made yourself a plan. And from your words, I know that you will be part of the change in this world. You will make a different to others. 🙂 You are hope.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.